


What Makes a Family

by asherly89



Series: What Makes a Family [1]
Category: Adam Lambert (Musician)
Genre: Adoption, Children, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-02-13
Updated: 2012-05-01
Packaged: 2017-10-31 03:20:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 24,427
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/339310
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/asherly89/pseuds/asherly89
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Summary: Tommy has always wanted to have a family, a wife, a dog, the prefect little life, but sometimes life doesn't work out the way you wanted. Set in 2015 Tommy is single and wanting to start a family. He decides that before it's too late he needs to do something, so he decides to adopt. (Eventual Adam/Tommy)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Author's Note: I can never thank i_gitterz enough for being my beta. She came to me last week and has been my savior ever since. She is so wonderful and a joy to work with. Also thank you kittys_devil for sharing the wonderful i_gitterz!

_Tommy Joe Ratliff announces the arrival of_

_**Landon Ronald Ratliff** _

_Born: May 11, 2015_

_Weight: 6 lbs. 7 oz._

_Height: 19 inches_

_  
_

Tommy had given up on finding the one woman he wanted to spend the rest of his life with, and decided to just adopt by himself. After dating his last girlfriend for a year and her not fully committed to getting married or starting a family anytime soon, Tommy decided to break it off. He was in a place where marriage and family were at the forefront of his life. He kept finding the girls who weren’t ready for something more serious than a few dates and sex, so he decided to give up dating for the time being and focus more on what he wanted.

When he babysat for his friends and family, he always left with the feeling of that something was missing in his life. He felt that he needed someone to take care of. He knew that children were a huge responsibility, but he always wanted a kid. One night after getting home from watching Isaac and Sophie’s daughter, Megan, Tommy got on his computer and looked up adoption, being a foster parent, and surrogacy. Adoption was the best option for him. It could get expensive, but it wouldn’t be as expensive if he went with surrogacy, and with being a foster parent, there was a chance that you’d only have a child for a short amount of time before they left you again. Plus he wouldn’t be able to foster a child if he was tour.

After he had done more research than he thought possible and finally found an adoption agency in LA that had a great reputation of helping single parents adopt, he called them up and was told the next available intake appointment wouldn’t be for a month. Tommy said that it was fine and took the appointment.

* * *

“Hello Mr. Ratliff, my name is Judy and I’ll be your caseworker. Please have a seat,” Judy said, walking into her office with Tommy in tow.Tommy sat in the chair and waited for Judy speak, hoping he’d done all the paperwork correctly and was qualify for adoption. “So Mr. Ratliff, what can I help you with today?”

“Well, I want to adopt…as a single parent. I’ve always loved children and having one of my own has been something I’ve wanted for a long time...” he trailed off because he knew that he was starting to babble and with babbling usually came a comment that made no sense and would make him embarrassed.

“Ok, well if you did your research, you’ll know that we have a great reputation for single parent adoptions,” Judy said.

“Yea, um, so…how long will it take?” Tommy asked.

“Well there’s a lot of work that goes into adopting. Lets start with why you want to adopt?” Judy replied, shuffling papers around on her desk before folding her hands in front of her and focusing on Tommy.

Tommy sighed. “I want to adopt because…I haven’t found the one and I think I probably wont ever find her. I’m in my thirties and I want to have a kid before I get too old.”

“Ok…and if you were to adopt, would you want a closed or open adoption?” Judy asked.

“Um, it doesn’t matter. I mean, whatever the mother wants. She’s the one making the decision to give this baby up and should be the one who has the chance to know her baby or not. I get that in the end the baby is mine, but I still want my kid to know where they came from. I’m not going to hide the fact from my kid that they were adopted,” Tommy said and watched as Judy wrote in his file.

“So you’d want to adopt a baby then?” Judy asked.

“Yeah, I want to raise my kid from the time he or she was born. I mean, like, with a toddler they’re going to be so scared of meeting someone new and me, with all my tattoos and piercing, it might scare them. With an older kid, they’re probably set in their ways and might act out. At least that’s what I heard. Teenagers...well no way! I was a little punk when I was that age and I don’t want to deal with that for a long time,” Tommy replied.

“Ok, well Mr. Ratliff, you know if you want to adopt a baby, it could take years. There are a lot of couples who want babies. A lot of birth mothers might look at you being single and male as negatives, but here we try to make the birth mothers look past that and see what’s best for their child,” Judy said back.

“I know, but I’m willing to do whatever it takes to have a kid,” Tommy answered back. He really wanted this and didn’t want the fact that he was a single male to get into the way.

“That’s the spirit! Well let me get you started on some different paper work for infant adoption and get you into a support group. You’ll need all the support you can get. This is a hard time,” Judy said and got up from her desk, moving over to filing cabinet in the corner.

She came back and handed Tommy a packet full of forms to fill out. “You’ll need two references from family or friends, and a background check will be done. You should put a little book together for birth mothers to look at. There are instructions on what to put in your book, and you’ll have a home study or two with another social worker.”

Tommy nodded, not knowing what to say about everything he had to do before he was put into the system for the agency. He’d done his research but didn’t know that it would take this much time.

“So how about we set up another appointment for a month to see how the paper work is coming along and maybe to set up a home study,” Judy said, sitting back down.

Tommy let Judy know his free days and she scheduled him in for a day that worked for both of them.

“Mr. Ratliff, you’re going to be a great father,” Judy said, standing to show Tommy out of her office.

Tommy smiled. “Thank you. I’ll see you soon.”

 

“Mr. Ratliff, you can come in now,” The nurse said.

Tommy stood up and walked behind her into the nursery. He wasn’t nervous while he waited for this moment, but as he started to walk to his child, he could feel the jitters starting to form and his hands were getting clammy. He saw a little glass bassinet in the back of the room and smiled.

“Is that him?” Tommy asked pointing to the back of the room.

“Yes,” The nurse replied and walked over to it. She picked up a small bundle and walked over to Tommy. “Have a seat.

Tommy looked around and saw a rocking chair. He sat in it and the nurse handed Tommy the bundle. The bundle let out a cry, but Tommy quickly shushed the baby in his arms by rocking slowly and talking softly.

“Hey, little man, it’s okay. It’s just your…dad,” Tommy said, chocking on the last word. Tommy quietly talked to his baby and rocked him until the nurse came over.

“Time to eat. Do you want to feed him?” she asked.

“Yes,” Tommy said.

“Ok, here’s the bottle. Don’t get too upset if he doesn’t latch on right away,” The nurse said, handing him the small bottle full of white liquid.

Tommy nodded and took the small bottle in hand. He rubbed the nipple along the baby’s lips until he opened up and took the nipple into his mouth, then he started sucking gently until he figured out that he could get food out if he sucked. Tommy watched and smiled as his baby drank down the bottle.

Once finished, the nurse came back and showed Tommy how to burp him. Tommy gently, but firmly hit his back and waited to hear the baby burp. Once Tommy felt that the baby was done burping, he took him over to the changing station to change his diaper.

“Do you want help? Boys can be tricky,” The nurse said.

“Sure.” Tommy stood back to let the nurse take over. He watched over her shoulder as she explained what to do.

“Here’s the trick. Put the clean diaper under him before you open up the dirty diaper. That way you have a layer of protection for you and your changing table once the old diaper is off,” the nurse said as she did what she was telling Tommy.

Tommy watched as she opened the new diaper and put it under his baby, then opened up the diaper. When she opened up the diaper, a small smile played on her lips. “Looks like someone pooped,” she commented and put the diaper back in place before grabbing the wipes.

When she returned, she opened the diaper back up and cleaned up his son’s rear end. “Make sure you get everything clean. Sometimes babies can poop all up their back, so make sure to check before you put the new diaper on.”

Tommy nodded, watching as she finished wrapping his son’s diaper around his waist.

“Alright, all done and look, no pee anywhere but in the diaper. Next time, you can try,” she said as she wrapped his baby back up in the blanket before handing him to Tommy.

Tommy took him and went to sit back in the rocking chair. Once he was seated with his newborn son cuddled close to his chest, Tommy started talking to him again. “So I guess I need to name you, huh? Well I was thinking Ronald as your middle name after your grandfather, but your first name, I have a few I want to try out before I’m set on anything, so what do you think about Jordan?” Tommy asked. The baby did nothing. “Yea me either. Jackson?” Again the baby did nothing. “Hmm, okay well how about Landon?”

The baby opened his eyes slowly, looking up at Tommy. “Landon, huh? You like that? Landon Ronald Ratliff…I like it. Well, Mr. Landon Ratliff, welcome to the world.”


	2. Chapter 2

Two days later, Tommy was allowed to take Landon home. The social worker had gotten all the papers signed that said Tommy was Landon’s legal guardian.

“Now Tommy, you know this isn’t the final step in adoption. You still have to go to family court and get the judge to sign off on it,” The social worker said.

“Yes I know,” Tommy replied. He was getting tired of his social worker. She had been hovering over him for the last three days and trying to tell him how to do everything even when a nurse had already told him how to do it.

“Ok, well I think that’s it. Any last minute questions?” she asked.

Tommy shook his head.

“Well then, congratulations Mr. Ratliff,” She said with a smile.

“Thank you,” Tommy said and smiled back.

“All ready!” the nurse said bringing in Landon.

“Hey little man, you ready to get out of here?” Tommy asked and Landon didn’t move. “I’ll take that as a yes then. Come on, into your seat you go.” Tommy said and put Landon into the baby seat he had brought up from his car. He buckled him in a put the blanket over the little body to keep him warm. “He looks like he’s going to be swallowed into the seat.” Tommy said.

The nurse laughed. “Oh Tommy, just you wait. Before you know it, he’s going to be too big for it.”

Tommy shook his head. “Don’t remind me. I just want keep him this small as long as possible.” 

“Oh Tommy, can Michelle see him before you go? Just one last time?” the social worker asked.

Tommy nodded. “Of course.” He would never leave with Landon before letting his birth mother, Michelle, see him. He wanted to make sure she had as much contact with him as possible.

Tommy took Landon into the room where Michelle was staying. She had had a c-section and was staying an extra day in the hospital, just to make sure she didn’t tear the stitches or staples out before she was healed; enough to move around without too much discomfort.

* * *

“Hello?” Tommy said sleepily. He had had a long night in the studio.

“Tommy, it’s Judy.” The voice came over the phone.

“Hey, what’s up?” Tommy asked.

“Good news, I have a mother here who would like to meet you,” Judy said.

“Really? Already?” Tommy asked. He couldn’t believe that someone already wanted to meet him. He’d only gotten his paper work done a couple of months prior.

“Yes, she saw your profile and wants to meet you. Can you come into the office today at four?” Judy asked.

“Yeah, yeah I’ll be there,” Tommy said.

“Great! See you then,” Judy said and hung up.

\----------------  
Tommy got to the adoption office ten minutes before his appointment. He was nervous and was pacing the office waiting room. He couldn't believe that he was getting his first meeting with a potential birth mother.

“Mr. Ratliff? You can come back now,” The receptionist said.

Tommy smiled and walked into Judy’s office.

“Tommy you’re early,” Judy said with smile. It was a running joke that Tommy was late most of the time.

“Yeah, well meeting the hopefully birth mother of my child does that to me,” Tommy said.

“Of course. It’s an exciting time,” Judy replied.

The door opened and in walked a girl who had a small bulge until her shirt.

“Hello, Michelle,” Judy said and got up from her seat to shake the girl’s hand.

“Hi, Judy.” Michelle said back.

“Michelle, this is Tommy. You said you’d like to meet him.” Judy said, pointing to Tommy.

“Hi Tommy,” She said and stuck out her hand. Tommy shook it and said hello back.

“So today’s meeting is just an introduction. Michelle, you can ask whatever you want to know about Tommy that wasn’t covered in his profile. Tommy, in turn you can ask Michelle questions, too. You both have a right not to answer questions if they make you feel uncomfortable, okay?” Judy explained.

Tommy and Michelle nodded. “Great, well Michelle how about you start?” Judy said.

Michelle nodded and asked her first question, “So why adopt as a single parent?”

“I’m tired of waiting around for Mrs. Right to come along. I’m not getting any younger and I’ve wanted a kid for a while. All my friends have kids and whenever I see them it makes me want one of my own even more. I’d rather be the age I am now rather then be older and not be able to do as much with my kid, if I have a kid,” Tommy replied.

“You’re not gay?” Michelle said.

Tommy laughed, “No, what made you think that?”

“Well when I was reading your profile and I just thought...I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have asked that,” Michelle said.

“It’s fine, really. You’re not the first person to think that,” Tommy said trying to calm her nerves.

After that Michelle and Tommy had an easier time talking. Tommy found out that Michelle had gotten pregnant by her boyfriend, who was now at military school after his parents found out about the baby. She didn’t want to raise the baby as a single parent while Jake, her boyfriend, was away at school, so they came to the decision to give the baby up for adoption. Michelle was already five months along and found out two weeks ago she was having a boy.

“You’re really mature for your age,” Tommy said.

“Thank you,” Michelle said blushing.

Judy interrupted them, “You two have only a few more minutes before the meeting’s over. Any last minute questions?”

Tommy thought for moment then asked, “Would you like a closed or open adoption?”

Michelle replied quickily, “Open...If that’s alright with you. I know some people don’t like it, but I do want to be able to see him grow up.”

“Of course an open adoption is fine with me,” Tommy said smiling. He was secretly hoping she had said open adoption.

“Alright, well seems like this was a good first meeting. Tommy I’ll call you to let you know what Michelle decides,” Judy said.

Tommy stood, “Thanks Judy. Michelle is was great to meet you.”

“Yea you too,” Michelle said as she stood up.

Tommy moved and hugged Michelle.

“Sorry, I’m just-“ Tommy said to say, but Michelle cut him off.

“It’s fine.” She said with a smile.

* * *

Tommy knocked softly on the door and opened it. He saw Michelle sitting in the bed working on homework.

“Hey coming to say good bye,” Tommy said and walked over to her.

He put Landon’s seat on the bed and took him out. He handed him to Michelle.

“What did you name him?” Michelle asked.

“Landon Ronald Ratliff, ” Tommy replied.

“Landon, I like it,” Michelle said back.

“Yea he named himself really…I, um, going to step outside for a moment so you can a moment to yourself with him,” Tommy said.

Michelle nodded. She already had tears in her eyes.

Tommy waited by the door as he heard Michelle talk softly to Landon.

“You be good for your dad now okay? I know that in an ideal world I wouldn’t be given you up, but right now this is what is best for you. You’re going to love Tommy. He’s smart, funny, and will protect you from everything. Remember that I love you and I will always be there for you, even if I’m not with you everyday.” Michelle said to Landon.

“Tommy you can…take him now.” Michelle called out.

Tommy came back into the room with a sad smile on his face, “Thank you.”

Michelle nodded as tears were coming down her face, “Be good.”

Tommy put Landon into his seat and turned back to give Michelle a hug, “You too…thank you for giving me a chance to be a father. You’re awesome.”

He let go of Michelle and took the baby seat in hand. As Tommy walked out of the room he heard Michelle let out a sob. Tommy let a few stray tears fall from his eyes as well. He didn’t think he’d be so emotional about the adoption as he was, but this was a big deal. This was the last time Michelle would see Landon in person.

Once safely in the car Tommy said out loud, “What the hell have I got myself into?”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can NEVER give enough thanks i_glitterz my wonderful beta! She has made me want to write again and is helping me A LOT with doing that. She is the greatest for helping me get this story out. Without her this story would have never been off the ground and being published.
> 
> Also you may notice a certain someone in this chapter. I'll explain why he's in the story in the end notes. :)
> 
> Happy reading!

Tommy drove slowly to his house. Without Landon in the car, driving through L.A. could get scary, but with him in the car it almost gave Tommy a panic attack. He drove on the streets rather than the freeway, so he didn’t have to deal with people zooming by while he drove slowly. Once home, Tommy took Landon out of his seat and carried him into the house.

Before pushing open the door, Tommy gave Landon and himself a pep talk. “Alright little man, we’re home. Don’t get too freaked out by everyone who’s here. They’re just excited you’re in our lives.”

As Tommy opened the door, his mother came running up to him. “Tommy, you’re finally here. I was beginning to worry,” she said, fussing over him and Landon.

“Mom we were fine, just had some last minute things to do.” Tommy replied, pushing his way through the door.

“Let me see him.” Dia said, taking Landon from Tommy’s arms.

Landon whined, but settled down in Dia’s arms when she started rocking him gently. “Oh hello, Landon. I’m Grammy, and I want to say that I love you.” Dia said.

Tommy sighed, but closed the door and put the baby bag down. He went to sit on the couch where his sister and niece, Bridget, were. He felt exhausted and ready for a nap, but knew that everyone wanted to see Landon and he wanted them all to see the new member of the Ratliff family.

“Hey Tommy, how was the hospital?” Lisa asked, pulling him into a one-armed hug.

“Fine, glad to finally be home, so that I’m able to sleep in my own bed.” Tommy replied. He hadn’t gotten much sleep at the hospital. He was too busy taking care of Landon and the hospital bed was too cramped and small, making it hard for Tommy to get comfortable when he tried to sleep on it.

“Just wait until the late night feedings.” Lisa said back with a slight smile.

Tommy was about to answer that he was already getting use to it when the doorbell rang. He wasn’t expecting anyone else, so when he got up and answered the door to find Isaac, Sophie, and their three year old, Megan, standing there, he smiled hugely and ushered them in.

“Hey guys, come on in!” Tommy said happily. He hugged Isaac and Sophie when they entered, and grabbed up little Megan to smother her in his arms.

“Uncle Tommy! Mommy said you had a baby!” Megan said loudly.

Tommy swayed Megan in his arms as he said, “You have to use your indoor voice, and yes I do have a baby. Grammy Dia’s holding him right now.”

“I want to see him.” Megan said, trying to get out of his arms. Tommy kept hold of her, though and slowly took her over to where his mom was sitting. He set Megan down next to his mom, so she could see his son up close.

“Can I hold him?” Megan asked, reaching for Landon and trying to hold his head.

“You have to wash your hands first.” Sophie said as she grabbed up Megan’s hand before she could touch Landon soft head.

Megan let out a little huff and said, “Okay,” before she ran done the hall with Sophie trailing behind her.

“How’s it going?” Isaac asked.

Tommy laughed. “I just got home, so I guess alright.” He didn’t want to comment on his exhaustion, because he didn’t want it to seem like he was sick of being a father already. He loved it, loved having Landon in his life, so he didn’t want anyone to think he didn’t want this anymore.

“Man, I hope you’re ready to give up your nights,” Isaac said.

“Insomniac remember?” Tommy replied.

Isaac laughed. “I remember all those late nights on the bus. You use to try and make me watch movies or do yoga. Yoga on a moving bus never worked out, though.”

Tommy was laughing when Sophie came back in the room with Megan, who went straight to Dia and Landon. Dia handed Landon over to Megan, but stayed close to make sure she was okay with her grandson in her arms. Landon might be a little too much for such a young child to hold on their own.

“Tommy, if you need anything just let us know, okay?” Sophie said, coming over to him and Isaac. She sat down on the edge of the couch next to Isaac and Tommy saw Isaac rest a hand on her thigh. He smiled at them, happy that they had such a tight bond, so loving and affectionate with one another.

“Thanks, but I think I can handle it,” He replied as he got up and went over to Megan who was sitting on the other couch with Landon in her arms and his mother by her side. Megan had a focused look on her face as she looked down at Landon.

“How’s it going over here?” Tommy asked, looking down at Megan and Landon. He couldn’t help but smile at the garbling sounds his son was making in her arms. He was still in a state of shock that this little bundle was his; his son.

“He’s so little!” Megan said.

“He was just born.” Tommy replied, running his fingers through her hair softly.

“Was I this little when I was born?” Megan asked, looking up at Tommy with huge eyes.

“Yes, but now you’re a big girl.” Tommy said with a smile.

“I am a big girl!” Megan yelled. Her yell jolted Landon and he started to cry. Tommy quickly took the baby out of Megan’s arms, even against her protests, and started to rock him softly. Landon quieted down quickly until he was only making a few hiccuping sounds.

“I’m sorry, Uncle Tommy! I didn’t mean to make Landon cry.” Megan said, getting up to stand closer to Tommy and Landon. 

“It’s okay, he was just scared. See, he’s fine now,” Tommy said, kneeling down to show Landon to her, who was content to be in his father’s arms.

Megan looked at the baby and smiled. “Can I hold him again?”

“Why don’t you let someone else have a turn?” Isaac said to his daughter. Even though Megan was fine with Landon the first time, he was still nervous about her holding him again.

Megan pouted, but agreed, and Tommy handed Landon over to Isaac who started talking to the baby about all the things he was going to teach him about music.

“Tommy, is it time to feed him?” Dia asked.

“Yea, I’ll get it ready.” Tommy said and walked into the kitchen. He was happy to be able to get a moment to himself. Michelle had pumped some breast milk for Landon as a present for Tommy, but it was only enough for the first few days home, then Tommy would have to use formula.

“Tommy, Monte and Lisa are here! They brought the kids, too,” Dia said, coming into the kitchen and walking over to him to see how he was doing with the bottle making.

“Awesome…oh, here’s Landon’s bottle.” Tommy said, giving his mom the bottle in his hand and heading to the fridge to put away the rest of the milk.

“Great.” Dia replied, walking away.

Tommy was getting overwhelmed with everyone who was here already. He knew that everyone would be excited to see Landon, but he didn’t know that they’d all come at once.

“Tommy we’re going to pick up dinner,” Lisa said, coming into the kitchen.

“Huh, oh great, that’s great,” Tommy replied and turned around to see his sister.

“Bridget and I will be back in a little bit.” Lisa said and kissed Tommy on the cheek before leaving.

“Tommy, man, congratulations!” Monte said once Tommy came back in the room.

“Thanks.” Tommy replied and hugged him.

“He’s so adorable.” Lisa said, coming to give Tommy a hug as well.

“Uncle Tommy!” Bea cried, launching herself at Tommy’s legs.

“Hey, little lady.” Tommy said, picking put her up to hug her.

“I love Landy already!” Bea exclaimed as Tommy held her.

“Landy, huh? So Bea, would you come help me in the middle of night when he wont stop crying?” Tommy asked, joking as to try and get a rise out of her. He loved when she fell for it.

“No! I have to sleep!” Bea replied with a giggle.

Tommy laughed, and kissed her head. “Oh fine, but I remember when you were a baby and your mom would be up at all hours of the night with you and Atticus. She even tried to sell you to me once.”

Bea giggled more and wiggled out of Tommy’s arms, then ran over to her brother and sisters who were playing with Megan on the floor.

“If you need anything, don’t be afraid to call us.” Lisa said, coming up to Tommy and resting an arm on his shoulder.

“Thanks.” Tommy said back. He knew that she was serious about it, but he also knew that his mother would be there the moment he said he needed some advice or help with Landon. 

Everyone sat around and took turns holding Landon until Tommy’s sister came back with the food. Monte and Isaac helped her bring it in and set up the kitchen counter, so everyone could get food.

Lisa and Bridget left after dinner, because there was school the next day. Lisa and Monte soon followed because the kids also had school and Atticus had passed out on the couch. Isaac and Sophie stayed a little while longer to help clean up, then left with a sleeping Megan in their arms.

Tommy was left with just his mom and Landon. He sat down on the couch and let out a sigh of relief; it was great his friends had come over, but he was exhausted from entertaining them and from trying to keep Landon from fussing over being fawned over.

“Honey, I’ll stay the night. Just so you don’t have to be alone with Landon.” Dia said.

“It’s fine, mom. You being here isn’t going to change anything.” Tommy said, resting his head on the back of the sofa. He felt like he needed a drink, but knew he wouldn’t do it because there was a baby in the house.

“But you need sleep. You’ve been at the hospital for the last two days and you look like you’re ready to pass out.” Dia said back, and Tommy knew she was getting ready to fight.

“Mom, I’ll be fine!” Tommy snapped. He was getting frustrated that his mother wouldn’t leave him be with his son.

Dia sighed in defeat. She knew the mood Tommy was in and didn’t want to make him more upset. “Fine. But if you need me, just call.”

“I will, mom. I promise,” Tommy said, thanking everything that was good that his mom dropped it and that she was leaving soon. He needed get Landon to bed.

Dia and Tommy said their goodbyes and she left. Tommy fell onto the couch and sighed. The wave of sleepiness hit him quickly and he closed his eyes. Tommy didn’t get to sleep long as Landon started crying.

He jolted up from his lying position on the couch and walked over to Landon’s small bassinet in the corner of the room where he had put him down after people started leaving. “Alright little man, looks like I get to do this by myself.” Tommy said, taking Landon from his bassinet and walking into the kitchen for what would be the first feeding without anyone hovering over him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So you have finished the third chapter and Monte showed up. Now I know some you may not like him because of events that have happened in the past fews months, but when I started writing this it was before he wasn't in Adam's band anymore. So instead of rewriting this story to not include him I just left him in. He doesn't have that big of a part in the story, so it wont "ruin" the story or whatever. The story is about Tommy and Landon, not Tommy and Monte, so please don't get too mad about him being in here.
> 
> Thank you for reading! Stay tuned for more!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always a huge thank you to my beta, I_glitterz! She is awesome! xoxox
> 
> Also guess who FINALLY shows up?! Yes, that's right one Mr. Adam Lambert.
> 
> Enjoy! :D

A week later and Tommy was in over his head. Landon had colic and wouldn’t stop crying. Tommy had tried everything he was told about babies and colic, but nothing worked. Dia had come over during the day to let Tommy sleep for a few hours, but he couldn’t fall into a deep sleep, as he was too worried about Landon.

Tommy was dozing as his mom was taking care of Landon when his phone rang. He looked at the caller ID and saw it was Adam.

“Hey,” Tommy answered.

“Hey, how’s it going?” Adam asked.

“Totally and absolutely horrible,” Tommy sadly said. He could always be honest with Adam.

“Aww, why?” Adam asked with concern in his voice.

Tommy sighed from tiredness and defeat. “He’s got colic and wont stop crying. I’ve tried everything and it doesn’t seem to be working.”

“Do you want me to come over?” Adam asked.

“No, it’s fine. My mom’s here right now. She’s letting me have some time to myself so I can sleep and shower, but I can’t. All I do when I sleep is think about Landon,” Tommy replied. He may have whined the last part.

“I’ll be there in ten,” Adam said.

“No, Adam, really it’s fine. I promise,” Tommy said. He was tired and upset, but he didn’t need Adam to come save him.

“Come on you know I’m great with babies. I bet I can get Landon to calm down, at least for a little bit. And I know how to get you to sleep or at least rest for a little bit,” Adam replied back. Tommy could here him close his front door, then the car alarm beeping off.

“Fine, but if Landon doesn’t stop crying after an hour, you’re out,” Tommy replied, because he wasn’t up for a fight.

“See you soon,” Adam answered and hung up.

Ten minutes later Adam was at the door and taking Landon from Dia, “You can go if you want. I got it from here.”

“I should do the laundry and the dishes before I go. Tommy doesn’t have any clean bottles.” Dia yelled over Landon’s crying.

“I’ll do them, don’t worry.” Adam replied. He was rocking Landon in his arms, trying to get him to calm down. Adam felt sorry for the little boy, his face red and blotchy from crying for so long.

“Are you sure? I don’t want to dump all of this on you,” Dia said back, but already getting her purse and coat. As much as she loved her grandson, being away from all his crying was actually not a bad idea.

“It’s fine, really. Just go and relax. I’ll make sure Tommy calls you tonight to check in,” Adam said over Landon’s crying.

“Thank you so much, Adam,” Dia said, kissed Adam’s cheek, gave Landon a kiss as well, and left out the door before Adam or Tommy could make her come back.

“Alright Landon, what’s going on, buddy? You’re upset, huh? Well, what’s got you so mad? I bet I know what’s wrong. You haven’t listened to my CD yet...Is that what’s wrong? You want to listen to your Uncle Adam sing?” Adam asked the crying baby in his arms.

Adam went over to Tommy’s stereo and put in his last album. When the first song started, Adam started slowly swaying side to side and rubbing Landon’s back gently. By the third song, Landon had calmed down to hiccupping and was slowly falling asleep. By the fifth song, Landon was asleep in Adam’s arms.

Tommy had come out of his room when he noticed that he could hear music and not a crying baby. What he walked in, the site made his heart melt. There was his best friend holding his child in the middle of his living room while they listened to said best friend’s CD.

“Hey, you got him to sleep,” Tommy whispered. He couldn’t believe Adam had gotten Landon to sleep without much work. As Landon’s father, Tommy couldn’t even do that.

Adam turned to look at Tommy, “Yea, he was just mad that he didn’t get to listen to my CD.”

Tommy smiled and moved to Adam and Landon, “Oh the horror.”

Adam smiled back and reached his arm out. Tommy moved under it and cuddled into Adam’s side. He looked down at Landon sleeping peacefully in Adam’s other arm and couldn’t help the few tears that fell from his eyes.

“Hey, why are you crying? It’s okay,” Adam said and pulled Tommy closer.

“I don’t know…I’m just so tired! I feel like I’m a horrible father. I couldn’t even get my own son to calm down.” Tommy replied with a sniff. He hated looking weak in front of anyone. The thought of crying in front of Adam made more tears come out and that just made him more upset.

“No one’s perfect. Just think, in a few weeks, this will all pass.” Adam said. He was trying to sooth Tommy’s emotions. Seeing Tommy cry made Adam always upset as well. He hated seeing anyone cry.

Tommy sniffed again, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to…you know.”

“Baby, it’s fine. You’re stressed out…come on, lets watch a movie. It’ll make you feel better and I know that it’ll help you relax some,” Adam said, taking his arm from around Tommy.

Tommy moved over to the DVD tower, picked out a random movie and put it on. He moved over to the couch and sat down next to Adam who still had a sleeping Landon in his arms. “You can put him down,” Tommy said. He was reaching out to take his son from Adam, but Adam didn’t let him.

“It’s fine. I don’t want him to wake up,” Adam said. He resettled his arms so that Landon wasn’t in a position that was uncomfortable for both himself and the baby.

Tommy only nodded and started the movie. He cuddled into Adam as the movie started and half way through was sound asleep with his head on Adam’s shoulder. Adam watched the movie with a smile. Having Landon in his arm sleeping and Tommy sleeping on his shoulder made Adam happy. He made Adam want a family of his own.

Tommy woke up to the DVD turned off and no Adam. He sat up and looked around and saw Adam in the kitchen making a bottle and talking quietly to Landon. He smiled as he stretched from his position on the couch and walked over to them.

“Hey, you don’t have to feed him, I can do it,” Tommy said and reached for the bottle. He felt like Adam was doing too much for him and once again made him feel weak. He could take care of his son himself.

“Look Landy, daddy’s awake,” Adam said, talking to the baby and ignoring the fact that Tommy was trying to grab the bottle.

“I can feed him,” Tommy said again and tried to grab the bottle again. He was not in a mood to argue with Adam.

“No, it’s fine. You go take a shower or something,” Adam said and started to feed Landon his bottle. He was just trying to let Tommy have some time of his own. He could tell Tommy needed some time to himself.

“Are you sure? I don’t want to put you out or anything,” Tommy replied, but was already at the kitchen doorway ready to bolt to the shower. It had been at least three days since he had a shower that wasn’t rushed.

“I’m positive, now go,” Adam answered.

Tommy nodded and went off to the bathroom. Tommy was in the shower and the hot water felt nice. He sighed as the water ran down his body. It felt nice to be able to have a few minutes to himself where Landon wasn’t crying. By the time he got out, he felt like he could function like a normal human being again. He found Adam in Landon’s room, putting Landon in the crib.

“I think he’s down for the count now,” Adam said to Tommy.

Tommy nodded, “Thank you so much.”

“No problem really,” Adam said in return.

“Do you want to order dinner?” Tommy asked. He wanted to spend some time with Adam before Landon woke up again. It had been a while since he got to see Adam without anyone else around.

“Sure, get whatever you want,” Adam replied. He should have been going home, but the thought of spending time with Tommy was a better option than being at his home with nothing to do.

Tommy smiled and went to the phone to order from his favorite Chinese place. Half an hour later, Adam and Tommy had their dinner spread out in front of them on the coffee table as they watched TV.

“Do you want to bring Landon into the studio sometime? He can hang out while you work,” Adam said. 

Tommy shrugged, “I don’t know, maybe. I don’t want him to be a bother.”

“He wont be. Monte will be there, as will Isaac and Cam. You know she’s more than excited to take care of a baby,” Adam replied with his mouth full. There was a noodle falling out the side of this mouth that made him look like a little kid and it made Tommy smile. He lifted his hand, pulled the noodle off Adam’s face and stuck it in his mouth, causing Adam to laugh and blush.

“I’ll think about it. I don’t want him to be crying the whole time,” Tommy replied. Having Landon in the studio was a scary thought for him. He knew that music producers could be mean when it came to having children or babies in the studio because of all the noise they made.

“We could always put him in a sound proof booth with my CD on,” Adam joked.

Tommy gave Adam a small laugh, “I’m pretty sure that’s child abuse.”

Adam laughed loudly, waking Landon. Tommy got up quickly and got Landon from the other room. He came back with Landon in his arms, trying to quiet him down. He gently swayed the little boy in his arms around the living room.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to wake you, Landy,” Adam said, coming up to Tommy and Landon. He gave Landon a kiss on the head.

“You’re fine. It’s better he gets up now anyway. He needs a bath. Hopefully he’ll fall asleep after and stays asleep for a couple of hours before his late night feeding,” Tommy said.

“Do you want me to help you?” Adam asked. He should be getting home, but he was loving his time with Tommy and Landon.

“No I’ve got it from here,” Tommy said.

Adam was disappointed, but didn’t let Tommy know. They finished eating in silence. When they were done, Adam cleaned up the mess while Tommy got the small tub ready for Landon’s bath. He watched Tommy fill the tub up with warm water and test the temperature to make sure it wasn’t too hot. Then he put a wash cloth and the baby soap next to the tub.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to help?” Adam asked. He really didn’t want to leave, but it was up to Tommy if he stayed longer or not.

“I’m sure…I’ll talk to you later,” Tommy said back. He went to Landon who was in his bassinet waiting for Tommy. 

Adam got his coat on, hugged Tommy, and kissed Landon goodbye then left. Tommy sighed as he watched Adam leave. He was once again left alone with Landon.

“I hope you’re over this colic thing.” Tommy said to Landon. Another night of a crying baby wasn’t something Tommy wanted. He was hoping for a night of rest in between the night feedings.

Landon just looked up at Tommy with curiosity. Tommy just smiled at Landon and walked over to the tub to give Landon his bath.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So much love to my beta because she is the most amazing person ever! She's helped me so much with this story and just being awesome. xoxox

A month later, Tommy was needed for a tour meeting. Adam was going to be going on tour starting at the end of July and they were in the final stages of planning the set list and the tour dates. Tommy, as well as the rest of the band, were needed to go over the set list and to ask Adam any questions they had about tour.

“Call me if anything happens. It shouldn’t take long, but you never know with Adam. The numbers you need are on the fridge. There are bottles ready to go-” Tommy said, but Lisa cut him off.

“Tommy, I’ve got four kids. I know how to take care of a baby. I promise everything will be fine.” Lisa said. She was holding Landon while Tommy told her where everything was. Even though she had her own children (and Monte) to take care of, he was still nervous about leaving Landon with someone else for more then an hour. 

“I know, but this is the first time I’m leaving him,” Tommy replied. He had given himself a pep talk before this day, but it was still a scary moment.

“It’s hard, I know, but everything will be okay,” Lisa said, reassuring Tommy.

“Okay, I better go before I change my mine,” Tommy said and kissed Landon on the forehead before stroking his hair one last time. He was having detachment issues and Lisa and his mom had told him about them, but he didn’t know it’d be this hard.

Lisa smiled, “Say bye to daddy, Landy.” She picked up his balled up fist and waved it at Tommy. 

“Bye little man, see you soon.” Tommy said and walked out the door.

* * *

Tommy arrived at the meeting five minutes late. Luckily, Adam and Cam were running late as well, so Tommy wasn’t the last to arrive.

“How’s Landon?” Isaac asked.

“Fine, sleeping more through the night.” Tommy answered. Since Adam’s visit a few weeks ago, Landon seemed to finally get on a schedule that worked for Tommy. Sleeping a couple of hours, wake up and feed for an hour, go back to sleep, repeat.

“Who’s watching him today?” Isaac asked. He hadn’t talked to Tommy in a while, so he wasn’t sure about his babysitting arrangements.

“Lisa is…with the kids at school she has some free time.” Monte answered. 

Isaac was stopped from asking any more questions when Adam walked in. Adam walked in with his ‘business’ face on and everyone knew that he was here to get straight to work and not fool around for a few minutes before work needed to be done.

“Alright Cam called and said she is having car trouble, but that’s fine. Monte just take good notes and let her know everything.” Adam said as he got out his notebook and flipped it open to a page with a bunch of notes written on it. 

Monte nodded. He was more than prepared to take all the notes for everyone. As the music director, he had to be or the band wouldn’t be ready for anything. 

“Ok, so we’re starting in Washington and will come down the coast into California, then head east. We’re trying to hit as many places as possible. We’ll end in the beginning of November in New York. After that, we’ll have a week off for Thanksgiving, then the Pacific tour for three weeks. We’ll be home for two weeks for Christmas, then it’s Asia and Europe. We’ll finish in March in Glasgow. Any questions so far?” Adam asked. He looked at each of band members to see if they were confused or were right on track with what he was saying.

“How many days off between the dates in the US?” Isaac asked. Once he became a father, he wanted to be able to spend time with his daughter even when he was tour.

“The usual; a day or two every three to four shows. But the good part is I finally got the company to book locations closer together, so we’re not zig zagging back and forth. We’ll actually be able to have time in each city.” Adam replied.

“I’m selfish, but am I able to be home for Aurora’s birthday?” Monte asked. He hadn’t missed one birthday with any of his children since they were born.

“Yes, don’t worry. I made sure you and Isaac would be home for your kids’ birthdays.” Adam answered. He always made sure Monte and Isaac were home for important dates when it came to their children.

Monte nodded with a smile, “Sounds good.”

“Alright, so, set list?” Adam asked. He flipped to a blank page in his notebook. He looked at Monte to see what he had in mind to play. Even though Adam had an idea of what he wanted to play, he always let Monte have a say in what would make the final set list.

Monte nodded and took out the list of songs from the last four albums. Meanwhile, Tommy was freaking out. He would be gone from Landon for almost seven months. That was when all the milestones would come and he’d miss all of them. Plus, not to mention the final adoption steps he still needed to take to make Landon officially his son.

After the meeting was over Isaac, then Monte, left leaving Adam and Tommy alone.

“You were quiet.” Adam commented. He was packing up his notebook and pen into his messenger back he had brought with him.

“Just thinking,” Tommy replied looking at his phone to see if Lisa had called. The last two hours were nerve wrecking thinking about how Landon was doing without him.

“About? Something wrong?” Adam asked. He had a feeling it might have had to do with Landon, but didn’t want to say it.

“What makes you think anything is wrong?” Tommy asked back. He knew Adam knew him too well and probably already knew the answer, but didn’t come right out to say it.

“Tommy, I know you, so why don’t you just tell me.” Adam replied.

“It just the tour…it’s going to be so long. I can’t leave Landon for seven months! I won’t be home for all those special moments he’ll have, and who’s going to take care of him for me? I can’t put that on my mom. She has to work. And my sister is out of the question because of Bridget. I just...I don’t know if I can do this tour.” Tommy said, getting worked up.

Adam nodded, “I’ll see what I can do…just trust me,” Adam put an arm around Tommy to give him some comfort.

“I always do.” Tommy replied. He leaned into Adam and stayed close to him for a moment.

Adam smiled as he felt Tommy relax into his side, “Come on, let’s go get that baby of yours and go to lunch.”

* * *

Tommy was holding Landon while he tried to eat his taco, but was failing at getting any food in his mouth. He was beginning to think tacos weren’t the way to go when you had a baby in your arms.

“Let me hold him while you eat,” Adam said. He had ordered a salad and was almost done eating it.

Tommy shook his head, “No it’s alright. I’ve got this.”

Tommy tried to take another bite, but was unsuccessful again. He sighed and looked down at Landon, “You don’t want me to eat.”

“I said that I’d hold him.” Adam answered. He took another bite of his almost finished lunch.

“I know, but I missed him today.” Tommy replied, still looking at Landon. He stroked a hand over his son’s head. He loved stroking Landon’s soft hair for hours. It was a calming effect on both father and son.

“You were gone for 2 hours.” Adam said back.

“I know just…it’s hard, okay? You don’t get,” Tommy said. He cuddled Landon closer to his body. Landon’s soft sigh was the only response Tommy got from him.

“I do get it. You think it’s not hard when I had to leave my boyfriend behind for months at a time to go and travel for work?” Adam asked. He was trying to slowly move into talking about tour.

“That’s not the same! Your boyfriend is a grown adult who can come out to visit you on tour, but Landon…Landon can’t. He’s too young to be around everything. He can’t take care of himself like your boyfriend can. Plus I’ll miss all the important milestones that’ll happen when we’re gone. I...I can’t leave him behind. He’s my whole life now,” Tommy said sadly.

Adam was quiet, thinking about how he was going to respond, then spoke, “Tommy…It’ll be fine. I told you, I’ll find a way for Landon to be there.”

“But what if you can’t? What if I have to have my mom take care of him while we’re gone? I can’t do that to her! She has to work during the day and who will take of Landon then? My sister? She has full time job and a four year old to look after,” Tommy cried. He was getting more and more upset about touring and what was going to happen to Landon.

Adam got up from his seat and moved closer to Tommy, “I’ll do everything I can to make sure we have Landon with you. You know I will.”

Tommy nodded. He knew Adam would fight tooth and nail to make sure he and everyone in the band were taken care of while on tour.

“Now how about you let me give him his bottle while you eat your tacos?” Adam said, changing the subject. Talking about tour was upsetting Tommy and Adam hated upsetting him.

Tommy gave up Landon to Adam and dug into his food. Their conversation had been draining and right now, Tommy just needed to eat away his stress.

* * *

A week later, Tommy was running to grab his phone before it woke Landon up from his morning nap. He didn’t check to see who it was before he answered.

“Hello.” Tommy said into the phone. He tried to be quiet for Landon.

“Hi Tommy, it’s Judy,” The voice on the other line said.

“Hey, what’s up?” Tommy asked. This was the first time he had talked to her since he had left the hospital with Landon. He was concerned about why she was calling.

“Just a six week check in. How’s Landon?” Judy replied.

“He’s good. Had colic for the first week or so, but he’s over it now.” Tommy answered. He was relieved it was just a check in and not her calling about Michelle having second thoughts about giving Landon up.

“That’s great and work? When are you going on tour again?” Judy asked. She was always asking about him touring. Tommy didn’t know if it was because she secretly a fan of Adam’s or because she was just trying to be nice.

Tommy hesitated then answered, “Um, the end of July. We’ll be on tour in the US until Thanksgiving. Then after that, the international leg of tour. There’s still some details being worked out.”

“That’s quite a long time.” Judy commented. 

“Yea, but that’s life...have you heard from Michelle?” Tommy asked, changing the subject. Talking about tour was still a sore subject for Tommy. 

“I checked in with her about a week ago. She’s doing fine. Her school is letting her make up over the summer what she missed when she was off after the pregnancy. She’ll be graduating with her class next year.” Judy told Tommy.

“That’s great…hey, I have some pictures and a note about Landon I want to send to her. Where should I send them?” Tommy asked. He wanted to let Michelle know that Landon was being well taken care of and show everyone who was in his life.

“You can just send the package to the office and I’ll contact Michelle to let her know that she can pick it up here,” Judy answered. 

“Great, then I’ll send it out tomorrow,” Tommy said. He mentally added the package to his list of things that needed to be done.

“Great, I’ll let you go now. I’ll call back in a couple of weeks for another update,” Judy said.

“Thanks for calling. Talk to later,” Tommy replied.

“Bye, Tommy,” Judy said and hung up.

Tommy hung up and just as he was about to go back to doing the dishes, Landon started crying. He sighed and went to get Landon. _There goes my morning of cleaning,_ Tommy thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, Monte is in the band and like I said in chapter 3 it's because I started writing this before he wasn't anymore. Instead of rewriting the story to not have him in it I just kept him in it.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to i_glitterz for being an awesome beta and being there for me while I finished this story! She rocks!
> 
> We're at the half way point now, so only a little bit more to go then it's over.

The next week, Tommy arrived at rehearsal with Landon in tow. “I’m sorry, my mom was suppose to watch him and then she caught a cold. Lisa has all the kids now that it’s summer, Sophie was taking Megan to the zoo, and my sister had to work, so I couldn’t hand him off to anyone and I just…I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine, man. We can have an audience now. Did you at least bring some ear protection for him?” Adam replied. He wasn’t going to make Tommy more upset over a little babysitting problem. He loved Landon as much as Tommy did.

Tommy pulled a plastic bag out of the diaper bag, “That’s another reason while we’re late. I had to stop by the store to get these. Do you know how hard it is to get help at Home Depot at ten in the morning?”

Adam laughed, “Well just set him up where you can see him and we’ll get started. Okay?”

Tommy nodded and walked away. He ended up putting Landon on the floor by the couch. Doug was there, so Landon had company and wouldn’t be without someone right there if Tommy couldn’t get to him soon enough.

“You can pick him up if he starts crying. He’s due for a bottle in like an hour or so, but I think we might be able to have a break by then.” Tommy told Doug. He took out a bottle to show the man what he was talking about. 

“Great, man. I think I can handle watching him.” Doug said. He bent over Landon’s carrier to see the little boy. He smiled and gently touched the little hand that was balled up tight on the blanket that was covering his body.

“Thank you so much. I know this isn’t your, like, job or anything, but…just, thanks.” Tommy said gratefully. He could never get over that the people he worked with were able to help him out as much as they did.

“No problem, anytime.” Doug replied. He settled into the couch to watch the rehearsal.

Tommy went and picked up his bass. Luckily, it was tuned and ready to go, so all he had to do was turn on his amp and plug in.

“Alright, ready?” Adam asked everyone, looking around to see everyone in their position.

They all nodded and started in on the first song. Adam would stop and start a few times to make sure he was in the right spot or to tweak the tempo of the song, but over all, the rehearsal was going smoothly.

During their ten minute break, Tommy checked on Landon. He found him in Doug’s arms drinking down his bottle.

“You didn’t have to do that.” Tommy said. He was actually a little bummed that Doug was feeding Landon because he always felt that feeding Landon was his special connection to his son that helped him understand what the little boy was saying.

“It’s fine, man. You were busy and he was hungry. I just did what I had to do.” Doug replied.

“I can take over from here.” Tommy said and went to grab Landon. He hated when people were feeding Landon when he was perfectly capable to do it himself.

“I got him. He’s fine.” Doug said, pulling away from Tommy.

“Just let me know if you need me.” Tommy said, “Oh and don’t forget to burp him after.” Tommy guessed that just this once, someone else taking care of his son wouldn’t be too bad. If anything happened, he could get to Landon quickly.

Doug laughed, “I got it.”

Tommy walked back over to the band and started joking around with Isaac as they waited for Adam to return. They had their instruments ready to go by the time Adam came back.

“Tommy, can we talk for a minute?” Adam asked. He looked concerned, which made Tommy somewhat uneasy.

“Yea,” Tommy replied and put his bass down.

He followed Adam out to the hall of the rehearsal studio, “What’s up?”

“I just got off the phone with management…they said that they don’t have the budget to get two buses with bedrooms in the back.” Adam started. 

“I get it…I just wont go on tour this time. It’s for the best anyway,” Tommy said sadly. He would have to sit this tour out so he could take care of his son. It wasn’t a big surprise the company wouldn’t spring for the bus.

“No, no that’s not it at all! What I was going to say is that if you don’t mind sharing the room with me, then you and Landon can stay on my bus. It’ll be cramped, but I wont mind having the two of you around,” Adam replied.

Tommy was quiet, “Are you…I mean, really? You would give up your space for my kid and me?”

“Tommy, you’re my best friend. I’d give up almost anything for you. Plus, it’ll be fun to have some company.” Adam answered. He was smiling like a kid in a candy store.

“And the boyfriend?” Tommy asked. He knew how much Adam loved having his own space when his boyfriend came to visit him on tour and he didn’t want to get in the way with their time.

“Wont be coming on the bus...not after last tour when he got car sick and was laid out in bed for three days,” Adam answered.

Tommy laughed, “Thanks, man. I really appreciate it.”

“No problem…now lets get back to work. We have a tour to do!” Adam said and walked back in the rehearsal studio.

Tommy was right behind him with a huge smile on his face. He would get to take Landon on tour with him and he wouldn’t have to worry about where they would be sleeping on the bus.

* * *

Final rehearsal for the tour was an all day process. They were tweaking some last minute things before they were flying out up to Washington. All the songs were coming along, but Adam kept finding something wrong each one.

“One more time!” Adam yelled. This was the tenth time he made them work through one of his new songs.

“Man, we’ve been at this for two hours! There’s nothing else to fix,” Isaac whined and massaged his wrist. It was starting to hurt from all the playing.

“Yes, there is! I just can’t figure out what!” Adam yelled back. He had a snarl on his face that made him look like pure evil. It was quite scary for his band members to see.

“Adam, lets take a break. Give the band and dancers a few minutes off. Yea?” Monte said calmly. It wouldn’t do any good if he was angry as well.

Adam sighed, he knew that Monte was right. They hadn’t taken a break in a while and he could see that the band and dancers needed it, “Fine…ten minute break.”

Tommy put down his bass and moved to Adam, “What’s going on in that head of yours?”

“Don’t you have to call your mom to see how Landon’s doing?” Adam asked bitterly. He didn’t need Tommy hovering around him right now. He needed some time to himself while he tried to figure out what was wrong.

“It can wait…now what’s wrong?” Tommy asked again. He was going to push until Adam finally gave up and told. It didn’t take much pushing.

Adam sighed, “The boyfriend…he’s having those tour jitters.”

“Which ones this time? The usual or new ones?” Tommy asked. He already knew the answer, but letting Adam talk it out would help Adam in the long run.

“The usual. Fanboys, bars, you…” Adam answered.

“He knows nothing’s going to happen between us. Plus, my nights on the bus will be spent taking care of Landon.” Tommy said. He always hated that Adam’s boyfriend thought Tommy would try and move in on Adam while on tour. They weren’t anything, but friends.

“I know, but…I don’t know what he thinks. That when we kiss, you’re going to wake up some feelings and we’re going to start dating?” Adam said back. 

“It’s been five years since the first tour…we’ve kissed many times. I don’t think that’s going to happen any time soon.” Tommy replied. The kissing, groping, touching, and rubbing up on one another had slowed down quite a bit as the years had worn on, but every so often they would do something on stage that could be considered “stage gay.”

Adam smiled, “Yea, but I keep trying though.”

Tommy smiled back. He pulled Adam into a hug, “I love you, but not like that.”

“I love you, too.” Adam answered back. If only Tommy loved Adam more than a friend. It would be so much easier on Adam’s emotions.

“Three minutes until we start again!” Monte yelled into the rehearsal room.

Adam let go of Tommy, “Go call your mom.”

“You okay now?” Tommy asked.

“Not fully, but getting there.” Adam answered. He watched Tommy go off to call his mom and sighed. Tommy was his best friend, but in Adam’s heart, he knew that his feelings for Tommy were more than as a friend.


	7. Chapter 7

Two weeks into tour and Landon wasn’t adjusting to his new life on the bus. He’d be up at all hours of the night not crying, but just wide awake. Tommy would stay up with him until he fell asleep and it was taking it’s toll on Tommy. He looked miserable, with the dark circles under his eyes and the way that if someone was talking to him, he would zone out for a few minutes until he would jolt himself out of wherever he was and have to be told again what was being said. Adam would try and sleep, but with Tommy up with Landon, it was hard. He felt bad for Tommy having to stay up while everyone else got to sleep or go out.

One night as the bus rolled to the next city the dancers, Adam, Sutan, and the band were in the living room watching True Blood while Tommy was in the bedroom trying to get Landon to sleep.

“Landy, come on. It’s time to sleep.” Tommy said, rocking him gently.

Landon looked up at Tommy with half closed eyes.

“That’s it, go to sleep and when you wake up, we’ll be in a new city.” Tommy said, rocking his son softly.

Landon closed his eyes and his breathing evened out. Tommy sighed in relief. He went to put Landon in the travel crib that was now his bed, but they went over a bump and Landon jumped awake. 

“Damn it!” Tommy yelled in frustration. He picked Landon back up and started to rock him again.

There was a knock on the door and Adam walked in, “Need help?”

“I’m fine. Go back to watching TV.” Tommy said. He didn’t need Adam to watch as he failed to get his son to sleep.

“Are you sure? You know I’m good at getting Landon to sleep.” Adam said. He started to inch into the room.

“I said go!” Tommy yelled. 

Adam walked back out the door, “Okay, but if you need me just let me know,” Adam went back to the couch and sat down with a sigh.

“That bad?” Terrence asked. He and the rest of the group were acting like they didn’t hear Tommy yell at Adam.

“He’s not sleeping which is putting him in a horrible mood. I think it’s Landon who is stressing him out.” Adam replied.

“We should do something.” Terrence said back. 

“Like what?” Adam asked. 

“I don’t know help him?” Terrence replied. He already had an idea forming in his head, but wanted to see if Adam could think of something before he said his plan.

“He doesn’t want our help, that’s the problem.” Adam said.

“When’s are next day off?” Sutan asked, trying to get in on the conversation. He hated seeing Tommy so stressed, so any way to help Adam help Tommy was something he’d love to do.

“Two days.” Lane answered without looking up from her laptop.

“Prefect. Two days from now, we’ll have the girls take Landon and we’ll take Tommy. Have a boys day out.” Sutan said. 

“And how are we going to get Tommy to give up Landon? You know he’s got Landon with him almost twenty four seven. If he could, he would have him strapped to his back while on stage.” Terrence replied. 

“He falls asleep right before the sun comes up and wakes up once Landon wakes around mid morning. If we can get Landon out of the room before Tommy wakes up, we’re good to go.” Adam explained. He more than once had to start getting ready for a day of interviews when he would see Tommy start to fall asleep at the crack of dawn. 

Terrence and Sutan nodded, “This could work…we just have to let the girls know.”

“I’ll take Landon in the morning.” Lane chimed in. She was the one who watched him while they played on stage anyway. She knew Landon well enough that she could take care of him while Tommy was out with the boys.

“Have I ever told you I love you?” Adam said and moved in to kiss his PA on the cheek.

“Not enough.” Lane joked.

* * *

Two days later as they pulled up to the venue, Adam quietly got Landon’s diaper bag ready for the day. After he was finished, he got Landon out of his crib and changed him into his outfit for the day.

“Now Landon, be good for Lane and the girls. You’re daddy is in good hands with the boys. He loves you, but he needs some time to himself. He’ll see you when the girls come back for sound check. Okay?” Adam whispered to the baby.

Landon just opened an eye before falling back asleep.

Adam smiled and walked out of the room with Landon and his bag in tow.

“I put enough bottles in there for extra feeds, diapers and wipes are at the top with two sets of clothes, a blanket, and a binky. If you need anything, call me…or Tommy.” Adam told Lane.

“Got it. Oh, you have a phone interview at noon. Sutan said he’d make sure you’re ready and sound check’s at four. Have fun,” Lane told Adam. She took Landon out of Adam’s arms with ease.

“Sounds great. See you later,” Adam replied and kissed Lane and Landon goodbye.

“Bye, Adam.” Lane said and she left.

Adam watched Lane leave the bus with Landon before moving to the kitchen. He decided that waking up Tommy with food would lessen the pain that Adam and everyone had planned a Landon free day for Tommy.

He cooked a veggie omelet with orange juice to drink. There was also toast with melted butter and hash browns (from the freezer). A full breakfast was just what Tommy needed. As Adam got the plate ready, Sutan came in.

“Oh Adam, you shouldn’t have!” Sutan jokingly said when he saw the tray full of food.

“I didn’t, it’s for Tommy.” Adam replied as he took the tray in hand.

Sutan pouted, “He’s not awake yet?”

“Not yet.” Adam said.

“Can I be there when he explodes?” Sutan asked. His eyes got wide like a child who saw a huge chocolate cake.

“No! Now get out of my way. I have a bassist to wake up,” Adam said and took the tray of food to the back of the bus. He opened the door and found Tommy still sleeping. He placed the tray of food on his side table, than moved to sit next to Tommy. 

“Hey, time to wake up.” Adam said softly as he gently shook Tommy.

Tommy sighed and slowly opened one eye, “What time is it?” He reached for this phone.

“Eleven…mmm, Landon’s still sleeping, that’s a plus.” Tommy said and rolled onto his back. He was already starting to fall back asleep.

“Actually, he’s not,” Adam said. He braced himself for Tommy’s on coming panic.

Tommy sat up, “What?!”

“Calm down…I’ll explain. Here have breakfast, um, brunch,” Adam said and got the tray off the side table.

Tommy looked at the food, then took a bit of the toast, “Please tell me you didn’t sell my baby to a group of traveling gypsies.”

Adam laughed, “Um, unless Lane and Cam are gypsies, then no. But I did have the girls take him for the day, so you could have a day with the boys.”

“I don’t need a day with the boys. I have to take care of my son,” Tommy said as he ate a bit of omelet. It was very tasty and Tommy took another bite quickly.

“Tommy, you’ve been taking care of him the whole time and it’s stressing you out. We all can see it. Come on, eat up and then we’re taking you out,” Adam said and got up from Tommy’s bed, walking to the door.

Tommy sighed, “There’s no way of winning this is there?”

Adam shook his head with a smile of triumph.

“Fine, then let me eat and we’ll go out,” Tommy said his mouth full of food.

Adam smiled, “That’s the spirit!”

\-----------------------------  
Tommy, Adam, Sutan, Terrence, Isaac, and Taylor went out to the mall. Adam had passed on his distressing way of shopping to Tommy and being at the mall was the best way to de-stress by shopping in town. There were a bunch of people around and many knew Adam.

“We should split up,” Tommy said uneasy. He hated that everyone was staring at them.

“Are you sure? I wanted to spend some time with you,” Adam replied.

“With all the fans around, we’ll never get to shop if we’re together,” Tommy answered. He wanted to spend time with Adam, too, but knew they wouldn’t be able to.

Adam nodded, “Fine, who wants to go with who?”

Sutan and Isaac said they’d go with Tommy, while Taylor and Terrence would go with Adam.

“We’ll meet up at the entrance in an hourish.” Adam said. He wanted to get this over with as quick as possible. The mall probably wasn’t the wisest idea now that he thought about it.

“Sounds good.” Sutan said, “Come on, boys, we have some shopping to do!”

They were walking when they passed a baby store and Tommy stopped, “We should pick up some clothes for Landon. He’s growing out of what I brought.”

“This shopping trip was about you, not Landon.” Sutan said.

“My life is about Landon now.” Tommy replied. He didn’t know the last time he went to shop for himself.

“Fine, we can go in. But only so you can buy some new clothes for Landon.” Sutan replied. He’d rather go in and get what Tommy needed for Landon than have a pouting Tommy later on.

Tommy smiled and nearly ran into the store. They ended up spending the rest of their time there as Tommy looked at every single outfit. He chose many of the outfits in varied sizes so Landon could wear the outfit again once he grew out of the smaller one.

“Tommy, we have to go! Adam’s probably wondering where we are.” Isaac whined. Being in the store for an hour was not fun for him. It was like when Sophie was pregnant with Megan and she would drag Isaac to every baby store to see what they had.

“Okay.” Tommy sighed. He was having too much fun in the store.

Tommy paid for his purchases and they left to go back to Adam. They found Terrence waiting in the spot by himself.

“Where’s Adam and Tay?” Sutan asked.

“Starbucks,” Terrence replied.

“Oh I want some!” Isaac said. After shopping with Tommy, he needed something for himself that didn’t have to do with a baby.

“Calm down little dude, we’ll go,” Terrence said back, already starting to walk in the direction of the coffee shop.

They arrived to find Adam sipping on his drink while Taylor waited for his.

“Hey, there you guys are! I thought I lost you.” Adam said when he saw the group. 

“Sorry, but Tommy found the baby store and wanted to stop to buy Landon some new clothes…he almost bought the whole store.” Sutan told Adam.

“Tommy! This day was suppose to be about you!” Adam pouted. He was sad because he thought that Tommy would forget about his son for a minute and let loose with his friend.

“It was…I just had to buy Landon some new clothes. He’s growing out of what I brought.” Tommy replied. 

Adam sighed, his plan hadn’t worked out quite as he had planned, “Well, I guess that’s a good excuse.”

“What’d you buy?” Tommy asked. He changed the subject with Adam because he didn’t want to see a mad Adam anymore.

Adam smiled, “Just a couple of movies, a new necklace, and…well the last one’s a surprise until later.”

“Should I be scared?” Tommy asked Taylor and Terrence.

“No,” They both replied with smiles and Terrence winked.

* * *

After the show that night, Tommy was exhausted. After the trip to the mall and the show, he was more then ready to go to sleep. He got on the bus to find Lane sitting on the couch with Landon in her arms asleep.

“How’d you do that?” Tommy whispered as he moved to them.

“Nothing special…just gave him his bottle, burped him, then changed his diaper. After we sat to watch a movie, he fell asleep,” Lane replied, not looking up from her laptop where she had the next day itinerary open.

Tommy gave a sad smile before he started to tear up.

“Oh Tommy! What’s wrong?” Lane asked. This was the first time she saw him cry.

Tommy shook his head, “It’s just…I can’t get him to sleep, but you…you get him to sleep with no problem. I’m a horrible father!”

“Come here,” Lane said and waited for Tommy to sit next to her. When he did, she put an arm around him. “You’re not a horrible father. You’re just stressed out. Landon can feel it and that’s why he’s not sleeping. He just needed someone who’s not so stressed to be with him for a while. I promise you that everything is fine. You just need to relax.”

Tommy sniffed and nodded his head. He let his head rest on Lane’s shoulder as he looked down at Landon, “He’s getting so big…I feel like I’m missing all the important moments while I am away,” Tommy said, changing the subject.

“You’re not going to miss anything. I promise, Tommy. You’re one of the best fathers I know.” Lane replied.

Tommy and Lane sat quietly together as Tommy got lost in his thoughts. Monte came into the bus on the phone and Tommy sat up quickly.

“I should put Landon to bed.” Tommy said. He wiped his nose on his sleeve and took the sleeping baby from Lane’s arms.

“Tommy…if you ever need help, just ask.” Lane said as he walked away.

* * *

That night, Tommy was on his computer answering fan questions on his tumblr when Adam walked in.

“Hey, how’s it going?” Adam whispered. He didn’t want Landon to wake.

“Fine, you?” Tommy asked back without looking up from the tenth question about how tour with Landon was like.

“Lane told me about earlier. You know I’m here if you need to talk.” Adam replied and came to sit down next to Tommy.

Tommy sighed, “It was a moment of weakness…I mean, it was nice to get it out, but I don’t want you guys to feel like you have watch out for me. I’m a grown man and I can take care of myself.”

Adam gave him a small smile, “Tommy, you can’t do it all by yourself. Sometimes it’s better if you have help.”

“I know…it’s just I don’t want to make you guys feel like I’m a burden.” Tommy admitted. He hated being weak in front of anyone and the moment in front of Lane wasn’t something he wanted to think about anymore.

“Tommy, no! Don’t talk like that. We know it’s hard. We want to help, but you have to tell us when.” Adam said back. He would be there for Tommy no matter what, but he needed to know when Tommy needed his help.

Tommy was quiet for a moment, lost in his thoughts. Then he spoke, “Maybe once a week or something, if the guys don’t mind, I can pass Landon off to one of you and I can have some time to myself?”

Adam smiled, “I’m sure that can be arranged…oh and here’s your present I got you.”

Tommy opened the box and saw a necklace with a circular pendent on it. He picked it up and saw that the pendent had an L with an emerald next to it.

“I love it.” Tommy said, not taking his eyes off of it. 

“It’s Landon’s birthstone. I didn’t think the Taurus symbol would look good with the L.” Adam explained. 

“It’s great. Help me put it on?” Tommy asked, handing the necklace over to Adam. It wasn’t his usual style, but because Adam had given it to him, it made it all the more special.

“Of course.” Adam said and took the necklace from Tommy. He unclasped the necklace and put it around Tommy’s neck.

Once the necklace was secure, Tommy went to the mirror and looked at the necklace on himself. It hung right in the middle of his chest and it went with the rest of his necklaces.

“Looks even better on you then I thought.” Adam said, coming up behind Tommy. He placed an arm around Tommy.

Tommy smiled and turned around, “Thanks…I really do love it.”

“Your welcome.” Adam replied.

Tommy wrapped his arms around Adam, “Thank you…for everything.”

Adam wrapped his arms around Tommy and held him close, “You know I’d do anything for you.”

Tommy was quiet, just taking in Adam’s warmth and smell, but the spell was broken when they went over a bump and it woke Landon. Tommy pulled away from Adam and went over to the baby.

“Hey little man, why don’t you go back to sleep?” Tommy asked, picking up Landon and rocking him.

Adam smiled and left Tommy with his son.


	8. Chapter 8

Being home for Thanksgiving was wonderful. Tommy had finally gotten Landon on a schedule during the tour and now that Landon was five months old, he was finally able to play with his toys and keep himself busy while Tommy worked.

Tommy was at home doing the dishes when the phone rang. “Hello?” Tommy answered.

“Hi, Tommy it’s Judy.” The woman on the other end of the phone said.

“Hey Judy, what’s up?” Tommy asked.

“Good news, the court is ready to move forward and have the final process of your adoption of Landon finalized.” Judy said happily. This was always her favorite phone call.

“Oh my God! Are you...are you serious?” Tommy was in shock. It felt like just yesterday he was bringing Landon home.

“Yes, very. Do you have a pen and paper handy? I need to give you the details…oh and we’ll need to set up an appointment for you to come in and sign the last of the paper work.” Judy replied.

Tommy found a pen and took all the information down on a paper towel. When Judy was done telling him all the details, Tommy thanked her for the call and hung up. He was so full of excitement that he had to tell someone.

Tommy waited as the phone rang in his ear, then finally the phone was picked up and, “Hello?” came from the other side.

“Landon is going to be officially mine as of December twenty first!” Tommy yelled down the phone.

“Woah, you don’t need to yell. I’m not that far away, only on the phone. Now tell me the whole story.” said the voice from the other end.

Tommy breathed out slowly, “Judy called and she said that the court is ready to grant me full legal custody of Landon. No more worrying if he will be taken away. No more days of thinking that this is the day they come to take him away…Adam, this is the day I’ve been waiting for!”

Adam laughed softly into the phone, “Tommy, that’s wonderful! I’m going to throw you a party and all our friends will be there.”

“Adam, you don’t have to do.” Tommy replied. He loved that wanted to throw a party, but he didn’t have to throw it for him.

“Sure I do, as your best friend and Landon’s godfather, I want to do something to celebrate the day.” Adam answered back. He was already getting ideas in his head of what the party would be.

Tommy was smiling into phone, “Seriously, dude, you don’t have to, just being at the court house with me would be awesome enough.”

“You know I’ll be there,” Adam replied.

Tommy and Adam talked a few more minutes until Landon started whining and Tommy had to get off the phone to attend to him. They said their goodbyes and Adam said right before they hung up that he’d e-mail Tommy the party ideas he had. Tommy just laughed and hung up without giving him a reply.

When Tommy went to pick up Landon, he smiled down at his son, “Landon, you’re almost all mine. Just a few more weeks and it’s official. No more worrying.”

Landon just smiled up at his father and wiggled in his arms. Tommy held tight to Landon and brought him closer. He blew a raspberry on Landon’s cheek, making him laugh and it made Tommy smile. The sound of Landon’s laugh made Tommy’s heart melt. It was his favorite sound to hear. “Come on, time for an afternoon snack.” Tommy said.

* * *

A week later, Tommy was in Judy’s office finishing up the pre-court date paper work. He signed and read the documents over with Judy helping him understand most of it.

“So, on the twenty first, you’re going to go the court and the judge will look over the social workers reports and then he’ll ask you a few questions. After, he’ll make his decision and you’ll officially be Landon’s parent; not just his legal guardian.” Judy explained as she showed Tommy where to sign.

“I can’t wait. Ever since you told me over the phone, I’ve been so happy and can’t believe it’s finally happening.” Tommy said back. He had to still pinch himself to know that it really was coming true, that he was going to be a father.

“This is a joyous time in all adopted parents’ lives. Do you have any questions?” Judy asked.

“Um, my family and friends can be there, right? Like it’s not just me and the judge in the room, right?” Tommy asked. He didn’t want to go into a court room alone; it sounded scary as hell. 

“Of course! The judge would love to see all the people who’ll be in Landon’s life there.” Judy replied.

“And he wont take Landon away from me? Like he wont read everything over, then look at me and say, ‘You can’t have this child!’?” Tommy asked. It was a fear of his that Landon would be taken away. Until the judge gave the final word that Landon was officially Tommy’s, he wouldn’t stop thinking that Landon would be taken away from him in a heartbeat.

Judy let out a small laugh at the question, “Of course not! He’ll see how great you are with Landon and know that he’s in the right hands.”

Tommy breathed out a sigh of relief, “Thank God.”

“If you don’t have anymore questions, we’re finished,” Judy said with a smile.

Tommy nodded, “Thanks, you’re really awesome.”

Judy smiled, “No problem. You know, I’m here for you.”

* * *

They were on the Pacific portion of the tour when Adam and his boyfriend broke up. Adam hadn’t said much about it, just that his boyfriend would be moving out and that the Christmas party at Adam’s would go on as planned. Even though Adam didn’t seem upset about his recent break up, Tommy could tell he was very upset.

On an off day in Hawaii, Tommy was taking Landon to the beach and asked Adam to join.

“I don’t want to get burned. I can’t be on stage tomorrow night bright red.” Adam replied when asked. Plus he didn’t want to admit that he couldn’t find his sun hat and turquoise swim trunks.

“Please? It’s the first time taking Landon to the beach and I want you there. I promise we wont stay long.” Tommy begged. He hated the sun as much as Adam, but Landon on the beach was one of the memories that he wanted to make while in Hawaii.

Adam shook his head, “I just need some time by myself.”

Tommy sighed frustrated with Adam, “Dude you’ve been holing yourself up and loathing in self-pity for far too long! You need to get out, relax, spend some time with people who love you.”

“Tommy...I just need some time by myself.” Adam replied. He was gearing up for a fight. He needed to get some of his frustration from his break up out and a fight, even though it would be with Tommy, would be just what he needed.

“No, no. no! You’re coming to beach with Landon and me...and that’s final!” Tommy yelled at the man.

Adam was in shock. Tommy rarely lost his cool and when he did, it was because he was fed up with whoever it was that was pissing him off to begin with. The fight Adam thought he was going to have seemed to be over before it began.

“I’ll get changed...meet me in the lobby in ten,” Adam said and walked over to his suit cast to find his swim trunks.

Tommy smiled in victory, “See you in ten.”

Adam, Tommy, and Landon found a somewhat quiet and non populated spot on the beach and made their claim on it. They had chairs, towels, an umbrella, the baby bag, and a cooler full of drinks and food with them. Adam set up the umbrella first and after, set up the chairs under it. The towels were set in front of the chairs with the cooler and baby bag helping keep them down so they wouldn’t blow away.

“Sun screen, then the water with the boy,” Tommy said before Adam got comfortable.

“Let me guess...you want me to come with you?” Adam replied from his spot. He was slowly relaxing in the shade of the umbrella.

Tommy gave Adam a huge smile, “Yes.”

Adam rolled his eyes, “Five minutes, that’s it.”

Tommy waved his hand at the man and finished putting sun screen on Landon. He put some on his arms and legs before handing it over to Adam who gave him a huff, but putting it on as well.

Landon loved the water and when Tommy tried to go back to the towel, he would whine.

“Landon, buddy, we can’t stay in the water the whole time! You need to eat and we have to build a sand castle.” Tommy said to his son.

Landon whined still as Tommy walked back to their spot. Adam had long ago left the water and was now playing on his phone.

“Lunch time.” Tommy said as he came to sit down next to Adam.

Adam looked up from his phone, “Need help?”

“Hold Landon for me while I get his bottle and food out?” Tommy replied.

Adam took Landon from Tommy and starting making faces at the little boy. Landon smiled and laughed at him.

“Sweet potato or bananas?” Tommy asked, holding up the two baby food jars in question.

“Sweet potato!” Adam replied and tickled Landon. Landon laughed more.

Tommy smiled at his friend and son. These were the moments that Tommy loved. He could be with his son and best friend without feeling judged. No one on the tour judged him, but people would see single father when he was out in public and make comments or give him looks that made him uncomfortable. It always made him upset that he didn’t have a wife to share his life with.

“Can you hold Landon while I feed him?” Tommy asked. He unscrewed the jar and got out the little spoon to mix it up a little.

“Of course! Come on Landy, time for lunch,” Adam said to the little boy in his arms.

Tommy fed Landon and laughed when he spit the food onto Adam’s hand. Adam would try and wipe it off on Tommy who would move away from the offending hand.

“What a lovely family you have.” a lady said as she paused to look at Tommy, Adam, and Landon.

“Um, thank you,” Tommy replied. He was little dumbfounded that a stranger was talking to them without freaking out that it was Adam Lambert and Tommy Joe Ratliff together.

“How old is he?” the lady asked.

“Almost seven months.” Adam replied before Tommy could.

“It’s so nice to see two men in love and taking care of their child. My son and his partner are trying right now to have a child. Breaks my heart that they keep getting so close and it doesn’t work out,” she told the two men.

Tommy gave a sad smile, “It’s a hard road, but in the end, the reward is the best thing.”

The woman smiled back, “Yes it is...well, I better be going. Again, such a lovely family.”

As she walked away, Adam asked Tommy, “Did she think we’re a...couple?”

Tommy turned from watching the woman walk away and answered, “Um, yeah...I think she did.”

Adam gave a small laugh, “Us? A couple? Nice thought for a lot of fans, but not true.”

Tommy gave a nervous laugh back, “Yeah, I know right?”


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I meant to post on Monday, but real life got in the way! So here's the next chapter! Enjoy!

Later that night, Tommy was in his hotel room with Landon. He was thinking about what the woman at the beach said about Adam and he being a family. He always had feelings for Adam that were a little more than friendship, but he didn’t act on them. Adam was his boss and best friend and he didn’t want to mess up their relationship.

Tommy was pulled from his thoughts when there was a knock on the door. He looked through the peep hole and saw Adam standing on the other side of the door.

He opened the door with a smile, “Hey, what’s up?”

“Movie night?” Adam asked, holding up three DVD cases.

“Sure, come in,” Tommy said and let Adam through the door.

“Is Landon sleeping?” Adam asked once in the room.

“He’s having his night cap then off to bed.” Tommy replied.

Adam gave a giggle, “Night cap?”

“What, you didn’t know he likes to have a nice drink before bed?” Tommy joked. It made Adam laugh more.

Tommy got Landon out of the crib and held him as the little boy drank from his bottle and was starting to fall asleep, “See...night cap.”

Adam laughed harder.

Tommy started laughing with Adam and soon Landon was awake and laughing with them even if he didn’t know why he was laughing.

They calmed down and settled on the bed to watch the first movie and Landon fell asleep cuddled in between Adam and Tommy as the first movie started.

“I should put him in the crib.” Tommy said and moved to take his son to his bed.

“Leave him, he’s comfortable.” Adam replied.

Tommy didn’t put up a fight and left the sleeping baby in the bed.

After the first movie ended, Adam got up to use the bathroom and Tommy took Landon from the bed and put in the crib.

“Love you, little man,” Tommy said and kissed Landon on the forehead.

“You’re so cute with him.” Adam said, coming back from the bathroom.

Tommy didn’t know Adam was finished and slightly jumped when he heard him speak.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you,” Adam said.

Tommy shrugged, “Whatever. Want to start the next movie?”

Adam nodded and got comfortable on the bed again. Tommy started the second movie and got comfortable on the bed next to Adam.

As the movie played, Tommy slowly moved, so by the end, he was cuddled up to Adam and Adam had an arm around his shoulders. Tommy was comfortable and was a little sad when the movie ended and Adam stretched, leaving Tommy’s shoulders empty.

“Watch the last one?” Adam asked and got up from the bed.

Tommy stretched as well and nodded his approval. He was actually a little cold from the lost of Adam’s body heat.

Adam put the last movie on and came back to sit on the bed. Tommy didn’t waste time and got cuddled up to him again. Adam put his arm around Tommy and Tommy smiled to himself.

The movie ended and Tommy sleepily got up to turn the DVD player, TV, and bed side light off. Adam had fallen asleep and Tommy didn’t want to wake him, so he left him in bed. Tommy cuddled up to Adam once he was in bed and Adam turned into an octopus. His arms came around the smaller man and a leg was pushed in between Tommy’s. Tommy sighed at the position they were in, but didn’t move. He didn’t care about what would happen in the morning because right now, he felt like everything was perfect.

The next morning, Tommy woke up to Landon screaming to get out of his crib and Adam still pressed against his back. He stretched and tried to undo himself from Adam’s arms and leg with no luck. Tommy sighed because he didn’t want to move, but his son needed him and he really had to pee. Tommy tried again and Adam sniffed in his sleep before releasing Tommy.

Tommy got up and went to the bathroom before getting Landon. Landon quieted quickly once he was out of crib and given his morning bottle. Tommy was still tired and moved so that the two of them were back in bed. Adam was laying on his back and sleeping, so Tommy had room to put Landon in bed with them.

As Tommy, laying on his side, watched Landon, he began thinking about his and Adam’s relationship again. Last night had been fun and the all night cuddling was nice, but in the back of his head, he had the feeling that a relationship outside of friendship wouldn’t be good. He couldn’t date his boss, plus he had a son to think about. Sure Adam would be in Landon’s life no matter what, but was it a good idea to have Adam in his life more than just Tommy’s friend?

Tommy was taken from his thoughts when he heard Adam groan and turn over to look at him, “Morning,” Adam yawned.

“Morning,” Tommy replied.

Adam stretched, “Sorry for falling asleep.”

“Not a problem, you’re more than welcome to stay with us anytime,” Tommy replied.

Adam sat up in bed and stretched again. He went to the bathroom and Tommy could hear him flush and wash his hands before coming back into the room.

“I should go. Busy day ahead,” Adam said.

Tommy frowned sadly, “You can always stay a little longer...come back to bed.”

Adam yawned, “I have stuff to do before sound check.”

Tommy sighed sadly, “Okay, if you need to get going, it’s fine.”

Adam moved over to Tommy, “Hey...thanks for letting me stay last night. And did I cuddle with you all night? I kinda remember cuddling.”

Tommy smiled, “Yea it was...nice. Best sleep I’ve had in a while.”

Adam smiled back, “That’s good,” he stood back up and walked to the door.

“See you at sound check...Bye, Landon.” Adam said and headed out the door.

Tommy sighed in defeat and fall back onto the bed. He turned to see Landon was finished with his bottle, but was still chewing on the nipple of it, “Hey little man, I think you’re done. Time to get up and get ready for the day.”


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only 2 chapters left after this! Can't believe we're almost to the end.

Christmas break from tour came sooner than excepted and Tommy was running around trying to get presents for his family, get any last minute things for the court date done, and trying hard not to think about his feelings for Adam. The first two weren’t super easy, but easy enough that Tommy wasn’t stressed out. The hardest, of course, was the former. He couldn’t stop thinking about what happened and didn’t happen in Hawaii with Adam.

Adam was his friend, who, yes, was kinda super hot and really the only person in Tommy’s life who didn’t judge him when he made a decision, but at the end of the day, Tommy wanted more. He wanted to try a real date with Adam and to see what it was like to by wooed by the man. Now if he could just tell Adam that.

Luckily, Tommy was meeting Adam to help him shop for Christmas presents for Riff and Landon. Tommy thought maybe he could bring up the subject and test the waters to see if Adam had the same feelings.

“How about this for Riff?” Adam said, holding up a mini DJ kit.

“Like it.” Tommy said without really looking at it.

Adam shrugged and put it back on the shelf, “This is hard. I don’t know what Riff likes anymore.”

“I’m sure you can find something,” Tommy replied and walked down the aisle to see what they had.

“I’m never going to find anything for him. I’m a horrible godfather!” Adam pouted.

Tommy gave a small laugh, “Dude, you’re not! You’re great! Riff will love whatever you get. Even if it’s a...baby wets a lot? What the hell?”

Adam laughed, “I’m not getting him a doll. He’s almost five...plus he already has that.”

Tommy shook his head and walked away from the other man. They went to the next aisle which had board games. Adam looked at all of them and his face lit up when he saw _Candyland_.

“I love this game! Neil and I would play this all the time when we were kids,” Adam said and picked up the box.

“Then get it for Riff. I’m sure he’ll love it, too,” Tommy replied.

Adam put the game under his arm and walked off to the baby aisle as he chatted away about how when he and Neil played _Candyland_ , he would cheat and put one of the better cards on top, so he could be ahead. Tommy listened and smiled. It felt like they were a couple; almost.

“What should I get Landon?” Adam asked as they came up to the baby section.

“He needs clothes and he’s teething, so maybe some toys he can chew on,” Tommy answered. He didn’t really care what Adam got his son.

“Hmm, chew toys...like the ones someone gets a dog?” Adam asked.

Tommy laughed, “What? No! There’s teething rings you can put in the freezer and they’ll be cold for the gums, or they have these ones that have texture on them and they help break the gums, so teeth can grow in. Let me find some and show you.”

Tommy went off deeper in the baby section while Adam trailed behind. He found the rings he was talking about and turned around to show Adam, who was right behind him. Tommy bumped into Adam and almost fell, but Adam caught him around his waist.

“Oh...hey, didn’t know you were right there,” Tommy said, blushing.

“Sorry, didn’t know you’d turn that fast,” Adam replied. He should have let go, but didn’t.

“So these are the rings I was telling you about,” Tommy said and handed them over to Adam.

Adam took them in hand and let Tommy go so he could touch them himself, “Hmm, interesting...maybe I’ll get him a couple.”

Tommy nodded and turned away. He had gotten slightly hard when he was pressed up against Adam. He hoped Adam hadn’t noticed.

“We should go to this baby boutique Scarlett told me about to get him clothes. Scarlett got Riff some really fun clothes from there,” Adam told Tommy.

Tommy turned around, “Huh? Oh yeah, sure.”

They paid for Adam’s purchases and set off to the next store. It was in a quiet neighborhood in Sherman Oaks. It was hidden away on a side street and Tommy was grateful it wasn’t a paparazzi filled area. He wasn’t up for all the crap they would say to him and Adam.

They got into the store and were instantly taken by one of the workers around the store.

“So who are you shopping for today? Rocker dude or Rocker chick?” she asked.

“Um, rocker dude,” Adam replied and tried not to laugh.

Tommy couldn’t help it and laughed, but shut up quickly when Adam gave him a look.

She walked them to the back of the store where the boys’ clothes were and picked out a few pieces to show them.

“Is this a gift for a friend’s son or your child?” the girl asked as she kept picking out clothes.

“He’s my godson. This is his father though,” Adam replied.

She smiled, “Awesome. Well we’re having a 15% off sale right now, so everything is on sale. The sale items are 15% off their already discounted price. If you need anything, my name is Jenny.”

“Thanks, Jenny.” Adam said.

She walked back to the counter and started talking to her co-worker.

“Wow, for this being a “rocker” place, they sure are friendly.” Tommy said.

“Oh shut it you. She was just doing her job.” Adam replied back.

They looked at a bunch of shirts with bands on them, but Adam didn’t like any of the bands. He was about to give up when he pushed past the tenth shirt of The Grateful Dead when he saw it. It was a classic David Bowie as Ziggy Stardust.

“This is it,” Adam said and pulled the shirt from the rack.

Tommy came over and saw the shirt. He knew that Adam would get the shirt even if it cost a million dollars, “Cool. I like it.”

“Tommy, he has to wear this all the time. I mean, Ziggy Stardust...on a shirt for a baby! How cool is that?” Adam said. It was like he was still not sure it was real.

“Dude, get it. Landon might be too young to know who it is, but he’ll wear it,” Tommy replied.

Adam looked at the price and smiled, “Prefect.”

Tommy sighed in relief. He loved shopping, but he was getting tired. He wanted to go home and take a nap.

After Adam looked around the shop one more time to make sure he didn’t miss anything, he paid for the Bowie shirt, two pairs of jeans, and a striped hoodie that looked like Tommy’s.

“We done?” Tommy asked when they got in the car.

“I’m done for the day. You need anything?” Adam replied.

“Nope...maybe just a nap,” Tommy answered.

Adam smiled, “Okay I’ll get you home then.”

As they drove to Tommy’s house, he couldn’t help but fall asleep. The car driving down the street and the gentle sounds of the radio playing made Tommy fall asleep. He didn’t wake up until Adam was shaking him awake.

Tommy stretched up from his position in his seat, hitting Adam in the head with his hand, “Mmm, sorry.”

“It’s okay. You were out pretty much the whole drive.” Adam replied. He got out of the car and went around to open Tommy’s door.

“I meant sorry for hitting you in the head,” Tommy replied and got out of the car. Adam gave a smile laugh.

Adam walked Tommy up to the door and they stood there quietly for a moment then Adam said, “Thanks for coming with me today. I know it probably wasn’t how you wanted to spend your day, but um, it was a lot fun.”

Tommy gave Adam smile and, maybe because he was still sleepy, he went in for a kiss. He turned his face up to Adam and Adam was looking down at Tommy. Tommy moved until their mouths were touching and pushed closer, trying to deepen the kiss, but Adam wouldn’t let him. Instead, Adam pulled away.

“I...I have to go. See you in a couple of days,” Adam said and walked away.

Tommy watched as Adam ran down the walk and got into his car. Tommy stood there on his front porch as Adam drove away. He was pulled from this thoughts when his mom opened the door.

“Are you going to come in?” his mom asked.

Tommy looked at her, “Yea, yea...I was just, um, making sure Adam made it back to his car alright.”

“It has nothing to do with the kiss?” she said and walked away.

Tommy was in shock. His mother saw him kiss a man. Not just any man, but Adam. He walked into his house and found his mother in the kitchen making dinner.

“You saw that?” Tommy asked.

Dia stopped what she was doing and looked up at her son, “Yes, I heard you two come up the walk and was about to open the door for you, but then you kissed him.”

“Mom...I don’t know what came over me. I mean, I like Adam, but not like that-” Tommy said, trying to make excuses.

Dia interrupted him, “Tommy Joe, I am your mother. I know more about you than you think. If you like Adam more than a friend, it’s fine. I just want you to be happy.”

Tommy was quiet. He moved behind his mother and hugged her from behind. He held her in his arms for a few moments then released her, “Thank you.”

Dia turned her head and kissed Tommy on the cheek, “I love you, baby.”

“I love you, too, mom.” Tommy replied and kissed her on the cheek.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only one more chapter, where has the time gone? It feels like just the other day I was given this over to i_glitterz for her to beta and now it's almost over.

December twenty first, the day Tommy would legally be named Landon’s father. Tommy had a bout of insomnia the night before and had stayed up until the sun was coming up. His alarm went off two hours after he’d passed out, making Tommy groan from being tried.

Tommy went to check on Landon and saw he was still asleep. He stroked a hand over Landon’s head before leaving the sleeping boy and going to the bathroom. After he was finished, he went to the kitchen and started breakfast for himself and Landon. The drip of coffee was a nice sound to break up the silence.

As Tommy poured his coffee, he heard Landon’s cry from his room and he moved to get his son. He smiled when he saw the little boy sitting up in bed, looking out from between the bars.

“Good morning, little man!” Tommy said happily and picked up the little boy.

Landon cuddled into Tommy for a moment, but was moved from his spot on Tommy’s shoulder by Tommy so he could change the boy.

“You know what today is, Landon? Today, I’m going to become your daddy. For real. Like a judge is going to say you’re mine forever,” Tommy told his son as he changed him.

Landon just smiled at Tommy.

“Time for breakfast, then a bath; we don’t want you to be dirty when we go in front of the judge. Oh and we have to pick out something for you to wear,” Tommy said to Landon as he walked with the little boy to the kitchen.

Tommy gave Landon his morning bottle as he got the rest of Landon’s breakfast ready. He pulled out the two jars of food, the small spoon he used, and a towel to use to clean up any spills. He pulled up a chair in front of Landon’s high chair and opened the first jar of food.

“Bananas...mmm.” Tommy said and put the first spoonful to Landon’s mouth.

Landon ate it quickly and soon they were in a system. Tommy would feed two-three bites of food, then Landon would have a drink of his bottle. The process went perfectly as Tommy fed the boy.

Once Tommy was finished feeding Landon, he let him sit in his high chair to finish off his bottle and it gave Tommy time to grab a quick breakfast. Tommy ate his cereal and thought about who would be with him today. His mother and sister obviously, Isaac would be there with or without Sophie, Monte, Cam, Dave, Mike, Allison, Lane, and Adam. 

Oh God, Adam; who he kissed only two days prior. They hadn’t talked since the kiss and Tommy was now thinking that Adam wasn’t going to talk to him ever again. He was probably not going to show up today. Tommy was freaking out about Adam when the doorbell rang.

He got up from his seat and went to answer the door. He opened the door and there was Adam. The man who he was only freaking out about only seconds before.

“Hey, happy adoption day!” Adam greeted happily and pushed his way into the house.

Tommy stood at the door dumbstruck.

“Are you going to close the door?” Adam asked.

Tommy closed the door and walked after Adam who had gone into the kitchen. He found Adam taking Landon out of his high chair.

“Um, what are you doing here?” Tommy asked.

Adam looked up from tickling Landon to Tommy, “We had planned on going to the courthouse together.”

Tommy had forgotten, “Shoot, I totally forgot.”

Adam gave him a weak smile, “It’s cool...hey, how about I give Landon his bath and you can finish breakfast?”

Tommy nodded, “Sure, that’d be great.”

Adam walked past Tommy and down the hall to the bathroom. Tommy was left still dumbstruck in his kitchen.

Tommy finished his cereal and cleaned up Landon’s high chair before he went to see if Adam needed help. He was in the hall going to the bathroom and heard Adam talking to Landon.

“I love your daddy. You know that right? I mean, like, I really love him. I want to go on dates and be stupidly in love with him. You know what I mean...of course you don’t know what I mean, you’re seven months old! But what I mean is I want to be with your daddy in a more than friends way. Would you be okay sharing him?...I’ll take that as a yes.” Adam said to Landon.

Tommy came into the doorway, “How’s it going you two?”

Adam looked up and Tommy could see he was blushing, “Great, Landon was just telling me about how he doesn’t like carrots.”

Tommy gave a small laugh, “Carrots, huh? I’ll remember that for lunch.”

Landon splashed the water and it hit Adam in the face, “Hey, what was that for?”

Tommy shook his head, “He does that. I usually think it means he’s happy.”

Adam wiped his face with a towel and gave a grimace, “My make up is all messed up now.”

“I have make up, you know you can use it if you want,” Tommy said and pulled his make up bag out from its spot in one of the drawers.

“Thanks,” Adam replied.

Tommy took over Adam’s spot by the bath and watched Landon. The little boy was having fun playing in the water and splashing around. Tommy turned to look at Adam and saw him smiling in the mirror.

“What?” Tommy asked.

“Nothing, just...you and Landon.” Adam said. He turned back to the mirror retouching his make up up.

Tommy got a fresh towel and unplugged the tub, “Come on, time to get ready for the court, little man.”

Tommy took Landon out of the tub. The little boy whined and tried to get out of Tommy’s arms, but Tommy held tight and walked out of the bathroom. He turned back around, “I’m going to go get him dressed. Take your time.”

Adam gave Tommy a smile, “Thanks.”

Tommy walked down the hall to Landon’s room and placed the bundled up boy on the changing table. He grabbed a diaper and got it on Landon. When he was finished, he placed his son on the ground to let him play while he picked out his outfit.

Tommy was looking in the closet full of clothes when he felt someone behind him. Thinking it was Landon, he turned and bumped into Adam. 

“Oh, hey,” Tommy said to Adam’s chest.

“Hey, need help?” Adam asked.

“Um, sure. That would be great,” Tommy replied. He turned back to the closet to look in it. He didn’t want to be awkward around Adam, but after their kiss, he couldn’t help it.

Adam moved next to him and began pulling out a few things. He would look at them and either put them back or place them on the changing table. Tommy watched as Adam looked at every piece of clothing before he was satisfied.

“You know, he’s only seven months old and going to a courtroom, not a red carpet. You don’t have to take out everything,” Tommy commented.

“I want my godson to look good. I don’t want to just throw him in a onesie. He should look presentable and professional.” Adam replied and started to go through the pile of clothes on the changing table.

Tommy sighed in defeat. There was no use in arguing with Adam. “Well, if you’re going to get him dressed, I’m going to get ready. Is that cool?”

“Fine,” Adam replied without looking up from Landon’s clothes.

“Keep an eye on Landon, too, please,” Tommy said and walked out the door.

Tommy was happy to leave Adam. He couldn’t deal with the awkwardness of being close to him. Since hearing Adam telling his son that he had feelings for him that were more than just friends, Tommy didn’t know what to do. He knew he should talk to Adam about having the same feelings for him, but he didn’t how to say it.

Tommy got dressed in his usual black on black look, but this time it was a little nicer. No rips or holes in his pants, a button down shirt, not a t-shirt, and his dressier boots, not his creepers. When he was finished, he went to the bathroom and did his hair and only a little eye liner with his clear lip gloss, making his lips shine.

He walked to Landon’s room and found Adam finishing getting Landon into his outfit. Adam had picked out a button down shirt with vest combo, black jeans, and even found little black booties with guitars on them to finish off the whole outfit.

“Little man, you look so cute! I have to take a picture,” Tommy said, getting his phone out of his pocket.

Adam held Landon so he was facing the camera and Tommy snapped a picture. Tommy messed with his phone for a few more minutes, then put it away.

“Just had to put it on twitter. Come on Landon, let’s get this over with,” Tommy said. He took Landon from Adam, leaving him standing in the middle of Landon’s room.

Adam caught up to Tommy at the door. Tommy had Landon’s bag and Landon in his carrier in both hands, trying to open the door.

“Need help?” Adam asked. He didn’t wait for an answer and opened the door.

“Thanks,” Tommy said and walked to his car.

“We taking both cars or just yours?” Adam asked as he locked up for Tommy.

Tommy thought for a moment; on one hand, having Adam in the car with him would give him someone to talk to, but on the other, Adam so close would make Tommy go crazy thinking about the kiss and what he overheard.

“Um, whatever you want,” Tommy said.

“Let me grab my jacket from my car and we can be on our way,” Adam said and ran to his car.

Tommy got Landon in the backseat and gave him his pacifier to keep him quiet during the drive. Tommy got himself in the driver’s seat and waited for Adam to come back. Adam hopped in the passenger seat and gave Tommy a smile, “Ready.”

Tommy backed out of the drive and went off to the court house. They were quiet for a few moments before Adam started talking, “Are you okay? You’ve been quiet all morning.”

“Fine, just nervous,” Tommy replied.

“It’s going to be okay, ” Adam said, trying to make Tommy feel better.

Tommy tried to give Adam a convincing smile, but looked more like a sad smirk than anything. They drove the rest of the way in the quiet. Landon had fallen asleep on the car ride over, so when they got to the courthouse, Tommy just took the carrier out of the car rather than trying to wrestle Landon out of it.

“I’ll take his bag for you,” Adam said and took the bag from the backseat before Tommy could argue.

They walked up to the front of the court house and saw Isaac, Sophie, Tommy’s sister and mom, Monte, Lane, and Allison all waiting for him.

“Tommy!” Allison exclaimed and ran up to give the man a hug.

He caught her one armed and kissed her cheek, “Hey, baby girl.”

“Can’t believe it’s finally the day,” Allison said, pulling back from the man.

Tommy smiled, “Neither can I.”

“Are we waiting for anyone else?” Monte asked.

“No we’re all here,” Tommy replied.

Everyone stood around and made small talk outside before they went in. Dia took the carrier holding Landon off of Tommy’s hand and went to sit on a bench with Lisa. Tommy kept to himself mostly by looking at his phone and looking to the parking lot to see if Dave and Mike were there yet. Isaac came up to him and put an arm around his shoulders.

“You’re quiet, what’s going on?” Isaac asked.

“Nothing, just trying to make myself believe this is really happening,” Tommy replied.

“It is real, you know,” Isaac said back.

Tommy nodded, “Yea, just...still unreal.”

“You don’t deserve any less,” Isaac said and pulled Tommy closer.

“Isaac...can I tell you something?” Tommy asked.

“You know you can tell me anything,” Isaac replied.

“I...Adam and I kissed the other day. Well, I kissed him and he ran away,” Tommy told the other man.

Isaac gave Tommy a surprised look, then smiled, “Finally, dude! I’ve been waiting for you two to get together!”

“We’re not together! I told you, he ran away,” Tommy said back. He was thinking maybe Isaac wasn’t the right person to talk to.

“Man, you two are really thick headed. Have you talked about it?” Isaac replied.

Tommy shook his head, “No! He ran away, we didn’t talk for two days, and this morning he showed up at my house like nothing was wrong. I can’t stand it! Isaac, help me?”

Isaac laughed and shook his head, “Tommy, you’re on your own, man. This is something you need to figure out on your own.”

Tommy sighed sadly. He knew Isaac was right, “Fine, but if I get kicked out of the band, you know why.”

“You’re not going to get kicked out of the band,” Isaac replied and pulled Tommy close again, “Just talk to him.”

Tommy didn’t get to reply because Landon woke up with a loud cry. He rushed over to his son, but his mother got Landon out his seat before Tommy even got close enough to get him. She cuddled Landon close as his crying quieted. She spoke to her grandson quietly and he looked up at her with big eyes.

“Guys, we should go in. We’ll miss Tommy’s time if we don’t.” Lisa, Tommy’s sister, said. 

They went through the metal detectors as quickly as possible and then into an elevator to go up to the fourth floor. Tommy was standing closely to Adam. He could smell Adam’s cologne and he got light headed. Smelling the man next to him was making him overthink things and he knew that if his mind didn’t stop, he would do something stupid. 

When they got to the courtroom, Tommy saw the caseworker and Judy out in the hall.

“Tommy, you’re here!” Judy said and came over to give him a hug.

Tommy hugged her back, “Yea, yea, um so what’s going on?”

“Oh the judge is just finishing up and will be with us shortly. Now where’s Landon? I haven’t seen him since he was born.” Judy said.

Tommy turned to his mother, but Landon wasn’t with her. He frowned and looked around only to find Landon in Adam’s arms, smiling at the man as he talked to little boy.

“Um, Adam’s got him,” Tommy lamely replied. Any thoughts about Adam not being a good boyfriend for Tommy went out the window after he saw how much Landon and Adam got along.

Judy smiled and went over to Adam and Landon. She tried to take Landon from Adam, but Landon put up a fight about leaving Adam and won. Judy shook her head with a smile and said something to Adam that made him smile. Tommy smiled as well even though he couldn’t see what was being said.

The door opened and a lady came out, “Mr. Ratliff, you’re next.”

Tommy turned and was nervous all of a sudden. This was it. He was going to become Landon’s father. This was the moment he had been waiting for. The moment when the judge would say Landon was officially his and no one could take him away.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter! Longer note at the end of the chapter.

It was a whirlwind of excitement once in the courtroom and Tommy was in a fog the whole time. He remembered going in and sitting before the judge. He had Landon in his lap as the judge spoke to him and asked him a few questions about Landon and how things were going. Then the next thing Tommy knew, the judge was saying Tommy was officially Landon’s father. He got to take a picture with the judge and Landon and the judge gave Landon a teddy bear that Landon happily chewed on the ear.

Tommy didn’t know he was holding his breath until he was out of the courtroom and everyone was standing around with smiles and saying congratulations to him.

“I’m so happy for you.” Dia said with tears in her eyes. She hugged Tommy and Landon, giving a kiss to both of them.

Tommy was pulled into hugs by everyone until only Adam was left. Tommy didn’t know if he should hug him or not, but Adam knew what to do. He pulled Tommy close and held tight.

“I’m so proud of you. You’re an amazing father and I’m happy to have you share this with me...with everyone,” Adam whispered into Tommy’s ear.

Tommy smiled in Adam’s chest and pulled back, but before he could say anything, Adam moved and kissed him fully on the mouth. Tommy’s heart stopped for a moment, but then it started again and he was kissing Adam back. Tommy pulled back first and gave Adam a shy smile. Adam was smiling a huge smile and looking at Tommy with hearts in his eyes.

“Tommy...Adam, what was that? I mean...finally?” Allison said, not sure what to say about their kiss they just had.

Tommy turned and blushed, “Um, it’s...whatever.”

Allison gave them a huge smile and pulled them both into a hug, “I’m so happy! And I better be in the wedding.”

Tommy rolled his eyes, “We’re not getting married.”

She rolled her eyes back at Tommy and kissed his cheek before letting him go.

Isaac was just giving them a huge smile as everyone else was kinda in shock. Finally Dia broke the silence, “We should get to lunch.”

Everyone agreed and made their way down to their cars to go to the restaurant. Dia fussed with Landon before Tommy put him in his seat and got him in the car.

“You two better talk before we get to the restaurant. I don’t want this to hang over you the rest of the day,” Dia said to Tommy before she walked off to Lisa’s car.

As Adam and Tommy drove to meet everyone, they were in silence. Landon was in the back happy with his teddy bear, talking away to the stuff toy like the bear could hear what he was saying to him.

Tommy broke the silence, “Are we going to talk about it?”

Adam didn’t reply right away, “What’s there to talk about. We both know we have the same feelings for one another. No need to make a big deal about it. If we don’t make a big deal about it, then no one else will.”

Tommy sighed, “Adam...you kissed me. In front of everyone we know. My mom saw us kiss. It’s kinda a big deal.”

Keeping his eyes on the road, Adam found Tommy’s hand and took it with his own, “Tommy...you kissed me me two days ago on your front porch, right in front of your mother and you didn’t think anything of it then. So why are you so upset about it now?”

“How do you know my mother saw us kiss?” Tommy asked baffled. He hadn’t said anything to Adam about it.

“I saw her peeking out from the side window and before I could say anything, you kissed me...that’s why I left so fast. I didn’t want her to think I was taking advantage of you or whatever.” Adam replied.

“She doesn’t care. She...she said that she was okay with us. My mom...she loves you as much as she loves me and just wants me, us, to be happy,” Tommy explained. When he thought about this conversation earlier in the day, he didn’t think he would be having it in the car on the way to lunch.

“See, then why make a big deal out me kissing you? If your mom’s fine with it, then why aren’t you?” Adam asked back.

Tommy couldn’t answer the question. He was totally okay with Adam kissing him. He wanted Adam to kiss him. He just didn’t want to get hurt if things didn’t work out.

“I’m taking your silence as your answer then,” Adam said. He removed his hand from Tommy’s and drove the rest of the way to the restaurant without saying a word to Tommy.

When they got to the restaurant, Tommy quickly got Landon out of the car and found Sophie and Megan as well as Lisa and all four of her and Monte’s kids were there. Tommy put on a smile and acted like nothing happened. He took Landon’s bag from the car and walked over to the rest of the group.

“Tommy, congratulations!” Sophie exclaimed and pulled him into a hug.

“Thanks Soph,” Tommy said back.

“Uncle Tommy, I want a hug!” Megan said and pouted with her arms crossed over her chest. She looked just like Isaac when she pouted.

Tommy bent down and hugged the little girl and kissed her cheek, making her giggle.

Lisa came over to hug and congratulate Tommy as well. She gave him a little gift bag, “It’s just a little something that I got for you. it’s nothing special, but just...you know, I thought it would be nice to get you a gift.”

Tommy smiled, “Thanks Lisa, you didn’t have to.”

Meanwhile, Adam stayed away from Tommy. He was lost in his head with his feelings for the man. He had tried to show Tommy that he liked him while they were in front of their friends, but it didn’t work and it seemed that Tommy didn’t like him more than a friend. He would have to stuff his feelings for the man away and act just like he always did; as Tommy’s best friend.

“Adam, man, what was that at the courthouse all about?” Monte asked and clapped him on the back.

Adam turned to Monte and spoke quietly, “Nothing...just, I thought he and I were on the same page about our...relationship. I guess I was wrong.”

“Man, that boy has had the hots for you for years. If he doesn’t, then I must be blind.” Monte replied.

“He told me on the way here that he didn’t like me like that and he didn’t want to talk about it...Monte, I may have just royally fucked up.” Adam said back. He was not ready for this conversation.

“Man, relax. Let Tommy enjoy his time right now and later you two can talk. I’m sure you’ll see that he does have the same feelings as you.” Monte said. He knew better than anyone how much Tommy liked Adam. There was more than one late night conversations during tours gone by about it.

Adam didn’t get to reply because Isaac finally showed up and everyone was ready to get inside to eat. They had a reservation and it was easier for them to get their table. Adam sat on the far side of the table away from Tommy. He ended up next to Tommy’s sister.

“That was quite a kiss you gave Tommy at the courthouse,” Lisa said to Adam.

He blushed, “Yea, it was...but...I may have just ruined my chances with him.”

Lisa gave a smile and laughed, “Adam, Tommy loves you...from day one, I knew you two would click. You shouldn’t let one small...okay big, incident in front of his family and friends ruin the relationship. Just talk it out.”

Adam sighed. He agreed with what she was saying, “I know, but...in the car over, he seemed like he didn’t want anything to happen.”

“Did he say that?” Lisa asked.

“Well, no, but...” Adam trailed off. He didn’t know how or why he was having this conversation with Tommy’s sister.

“Then you have nothing to fear...you two need to have a serious talk. You’ll be surprised at what Tommy will say and maybe then you two can work it out,” Lisa replied and went back to looking at the menu.

Adam was quiet the rest of the lunch. He talked to those around him, but didn’t talk anymore about the kiss with Tommy. When it was time to leave, Tommy had a sleeping Landon in his arms and he looked tired himself. Adam said his goodbyes quickly and walked over to the car, so that he could get Tommy and Landon home.

The car ride was quiet as Tommy had fallen asleep and Landon was knocked out in the back. Adam took the quiet time to think about what he wanted to say to Tommy about their relationship. On one hand, he would love to have something more with Tommy, but on the other, there was the break up. What would happen if things turned sour? Would Tommy stay in the band? How would it affect Landon? Adam couldn’t deal with a break up that meant something would happen to his band. He loved his band and would hate to see it fall apart. He worked hard to get the band and himself to where they were and to have one little thing change that, make it all fall apart, wasn’t something he wanted.

Landon gave a cry from the back seat, making Adam snap out of his thoughts and focus more on getting them home. Landon was yelling every few seconds, making it hard for Adam to concentrate on the road without moving into the next lane. After Landon’s next cry, Adam pulled over into a parking lot of a McDonald’s and got Landon out of his seat.

“What’s wrong, buddy?” Adam asked the little boy in his arms.

Landon didn’t reply, but put his head on Adam’s shoulder and cuddled into him.

Adam smiled and gently rocked the little boy in his arms. He could feel Landon’s grip on his shirt release itself and knew Landon had fallen back asleep. He held him a few minutes more then put him back in his car seat to finish the drive to Tommy’s home.

Back in the driver’s seat, Adam took a deep breath and let it out slowly. He couldn’t think of how Landon had fallen back asleep in his arms. Adam knew that Tommy wanted someone who would not just love him, but his son as well. It was hard to find someone to date that wouldn’t care if you had a child or not.

Adam drove the rest of the way home, thinking of how he would tell Tommy he was serious about a relationship with the man, and that he wouldn’t hurt him or Landon. He was ready for this relationship with father and son, but was Tommy ready?

Once back at Tommy’s, Adam got Landon out of his car seat and went around to Tommy’s side of the car to wake Tommy up, so they could get into the house.

“Hey, Tommy, wake up, baby. We’re back home,” Adam said softly and shook the man’s shoulder.

Tommy groaned, but didn’t move from his seat. He turned so that he wasn’t facing Adam and was curled up on the seat.

Adam shook him again, “Come on Tommy, wake up. I have to get Landon into the house and you can sleep in your bed.”

Tommy groaned, turned to face Adam and open one eye. He glared at Adam before he yawned in the man’s face and woke the rest of the way up. He stretched and moved out of the car. He yawned again and rubbed his eye as he made his way up to the front door. He opened the front door and walked in. He fell onto the couch and curled back up, falling asleep almost instantly. Adam gave a smile and moved to put Landon into the play pen that was in the living room. He went back out to the car to get the diaper bag, his jacket, and to lock the doors.

Adam came back into the house to see father and son still asleep. He closed the front door and made his way over to Tommy. He took the blanket on the back of the couch and put it over the man who just sniffed in his sleep as he was covered with the blanket. Adam watched Tommy for a moment before he turned around and went into the kitchen. He got out the used bottles from Landon’s bag and washed them out before putting them in the sink to be washed.

Meanwhile Tommy wasn’t really sleeping on the couch. He just didn’t want to talk to Adam about the day. He was tired from all the excitement and having a nap in the car had been a wonderful way not to talk to Adam. Now that he was home though, it seemed that Adam would want to talk, but he wasn’t ready, so pretending to sleep was the only way to not have to deal with the man.

He listened to Adam walk around the living room and kitchen, hearing the man trying to quiet, but not really doing a great job at it. He turned the sink on and off, then Adam coming back into the living room. He felt Adam’s presents next to him before he felt Adam’s hand go through his hair. He tried to not move, but failed.

“Tommy...I know you’re awake,” Adam said as he stroked over Tommy’s hair.

Tommy tried to fake a yawn and make it like he just woke up, but failed. He opened his eyes and looked at the man in front of him.

“Can we talk?” Adam asked.

Tommy shrugged. He didn’t want to hear the rejection that Adam was about to dish out. If he could, Tommy wouldn’t have to talk about this ever again.

Adam sat down next to Tommy’s head and put his hand back in Tommy’s hair. Tommy let Adam play with his hair. It was comforting for both men and the longer it went on, the more they both calmed.

“Adam...I don’t, I want you to know that...I do like you. More than you think, but...I don’t want to start something that will hurt me...and Landon in the end. I can’t deal with another relationship blowing up. I’m not...I can’t do it again. I don’t want to hurt our friendship.” Tommy told Adam without moving to look at the man.

Adam’s hand stopped in his hair. He pushed Tommy up from his spot and pulled him into a hug. Tommy didn’t hug him back, but Adam held on, “No. No, I would never hurt you...I don’t want to hurt you or Landon. I just want...I want to be here for both of you for years to come. I can’t think of anymore in the world then to be with you...with Landon and to be a family. Please?” Adam whispered into Tommy’s ear.

Tommy was frozen. Everything Adam was saying was what he wanted. He wanted to be with someone who loved Landon as much as they loved him.

“Are you sure? You can’t promise me something that isn’t true,” Tommy said back. He wanted to make sure Adam was for real before he did something that he’d regret later.

“It’s true. I want you...I want to be there for you and Landon. I want us to be a family. We already are almost a family. We just were both too stupid to see it,” Adam replied back quickly.

“Okay. But you’re in this for life. You can’t just tell me two months from now that this isn’t what you want and dump me...We’re in this for the long run,” Tommy said, pulling from Adam to look him in the eye.

“For life. I won't hurt you or Landon. We’re going to be there for one another through the good times and bad times. I love you,” Adam promised the man in front of him.

Tommy smiled and moved in, “I love you, too,” and kissed Adam.

Adam smiled into the kiss and pulled Tommy to him. Adam had his arms around Tommy and let Tommy push him down so he was leaning back on the couch arm. They pulled from one another when air was needed, but quickly went back to making out.

Tommy pulled back again and smiled at Adam. He put his head under Adam’s chin and cuddled into him. Adam smiled as well and kissed the top of Tommy’s head.

“Baby, what are we doing tonight?” Adam asked.

Tommy laughed, “I don’t know. I’ve got a kid to think about before I can hang out with you.”

Adam smiled, “Hmm, how about a quiet night in then? We have order something in and hang with the kid.”

Tommy smiled and moved up to steal a kiss, “I love your thinking.”

_Epilogue_

Christmas and New Years were spent with Tommy’s family. He went over to his mom’s for Christmas dinner without Adam as he was spending the day with his mom. New Years Eve was at Tommy’s home with his sister, niece, mom, Issac and his family, and Adam. When the count down to the new year began, Adam pulled Tommy close and they kissed when it hit midnight. They pulled back from one another with smiles and kissed one more time before going around to hug everyone.

The Asia and Europe tour was a blast now that Adam and Tommy were together. Adam tried to spend every moment spoiling both Tommy and Landon much to Tommy’s dismay. Japan had the cutest and funkiest baby clothes that Adam went a bit wild and ended up buying Landon a whole suitcase full of new clothes. Tommy tried to be mad at Adam that he spent so much, but in the end, he couldn’t stay mad at the man that long and told him to limit it next time.

In Europe, Germany to be exact, Adam found a jacket that he thought would be perfect for Tommy and when he gave it to the man, Tommy scolded him for spending more money on him and he had to tell Adam to stop spending so much money on him. Adam tried to say that he just loved him too much to not do it, but Tommy stuck to his guns. Adam pouted about it for a couple of days until Tommy told him that he loved the jacket, but that he didn’t want Adam to buy him presents to show him that he was serious about the relationship. He knew that Adam loved him.

The last show, in Glasgow, was the best show they had done. The crowd was on fire and into the show the moment it started and Adam left them wanting more. At the end of the show, Adam had come back on stage with Landon in his arms, making the crowd ooh and aww. Tommy was surprised because he didn’t know what Adam was up to.

“How you doing, Glasgow?” Adam said to the crowd. They cheered loudly.

“I want you all to meet someone who’s very special to me, Landon Ratliff. He’s been on tour since the beginning and is the biggest little fan I have. I wanted to bring him out here because he’s got a very special question to ask his dad...Tommy, will you come here for a moment?” Adam said. He waited as Tommy made his way over.

Adam gave his mike to Tommy and turned Landon around so that Tommy could see his shirt. Adam motioned for Tommy to bring the mike to his mouth, “Read it out for the crowd.”

Tommy smiled and put the mike to his mouth, “It says, ‘Daddy...can we move in with Adam?’ Well, Landon, the answer to that is...yes. Yes, we can.”

Adam smiled and pulled Tommy to him. He kissed the man, making the crowd yell again. Adam took his mike back and handed Landon over to Tommy who took him off stage to Lane.

They played the final encore and took their bows. Tommy ran off stage and Adam caught him around the waist. Tommy turned around and smiled before he moved in to kiss Adam.

“Are you serious? About moving in? You just didn’t say that for the fans?” Adam asked when they pulled apart.

“I’m serious. Let’s move in together...but we’re moving into my place. There’s no way we’re moving into your small ass place. Our stuff wouldn’t fit!” Tommy replied.

Adam smiled and kissed Tommy again, “It’s fine. We can stay there until we find a better place to live.”

“Together.” Tommy said back.

“Together.” Adam replied.

End

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, this is the end of the story! I know people want a sequel, but I don't have anything planned as of right now. I have about half a dozen half finished stories that I have don't know what to do with, so I want to focus on those first before I do something more with this verse.
> 
> I have to give a big thanks to my beta, i_glitterz, who made this story into what it is today. Before her it wasn't finished yet and I had only part of it written. She came into my life and made me want to write again. Thank you so much! Also thanks to kittys_devil who let me whine to her on twitter about how I wanted to write by some people had made me not to write anymore because of their harsh criticism to my previous writing. She gave me over to i_glitterz and now I want to write again. Thank you both so much! Without the two of them this story wouldn't have been published.
> 
> And lastly thank you to all those who have read this story. I love that all of you have stayed with this story, giving kudos and comments, I've felt the love. Thank you!


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